Don't Drop the Gloves

“to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people” (Titus 3:2)

Hockey in the seventies was an absolute brawling bloodbath. Back in the day, every team had a goon. His job was simple. Beat the living snot out of anybody who even looked crossways at one of his teammates. Some teams like the Philadelphia Flyers had an entire roster of guys willing to drop the gloves and fight. They earned a reputation as the Broad Street Bullies. In his letter to Titus, Paul instructs him that this is exactly the opposite of what Jesus calls us to. Cut the the trash talk. Stop looking for a fight. Be kind and considerate. Not just to your teammates. Not just to people you like. To everybody. 

Don’t drop the gloves. Show the love.

You don’t exactly need to do a Greek word study to understand what the apostle is saying here. It means what it says. It says what it means. Once God puts us under the waterfall of His grace, we’re changed. Here in chapter three of his note to Titus, Paul gives us a picture of what a Christ follower looks like. First of all, we’re good citizens who are ready and willing to do good things and God things for those around us (Titus 3:1). 

In the next verse, we read that there are at least a couple of regular activities we need to eliminate for our daily routine. At the top of the list, I’m to “speak evil of no one” (v2). It’s interesting that the verb here is blasphemeo. If that looks like blasphemy, there’s a good reason. When I normally think of blasphemy, usually I understand that to be trashing God’s reputation. Earlier Paul tells Titus “that the older ladies should teach young women that the Word of God may not be reviled (Gr. blasphemeo)” (Titus 2:5). But it’s clear that God has a zero tolerance blasphemy policy toward anybody. Remember Aretha Franklin’s famous line to Jake and Elwood in “The Blues Brothers.” “Don’t you blaspheme in here! Don’t you blaspheme in here!” God does not want us talking smack about other folks to their face or behind their back. 

Well, there certainly have to be exceptions, right? We can’t be talking about my weird neighbor. You know that crazy cat lady down at the corner, don’t you? What about that person who hurt me so deep that I don’t think I’ll ever get over it? This certainly doesn’t include that cheating spouse, does it? The accountant who stole my life savings? The drunk driver who killed my child? Let’s take another look at the verse and see if Paul gives us a clue. “To speak evil of NO ONE” (v2, emphasis added). Well, that sure seems like an all inclusive list. No loopholes. No exceptions. Stop your griping. Stop your whining. Stop your gossiping. Follow Aretha’s advice. “Don’t you blaspheme in here! Don’t you blaspheme in here!”

We’re not just to turn off our verbal flamethrower. As followers of Jesus, we should “avoid quarreling” (v2). A closer look at the original language reveals the word amachos. It literally means “no (a-) fighting (-machos).” The term describes someone who is peaceful, not a brawler, not contentious, and who abstains from fighting. Over in a very similar note to Pastor Tim, Paul writes how an overseer must be held to a higher stand and “not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome (Gr. amachos), not a lover of money” (1Tim 3:3). Believers aren’t hockey goons, skating around and looking to throw down. We’re not looking to fight. We’re not hoping for conflict. Be a non-fighter.

Don’t drop the gloves. Show the love.

Instead of trolling for a so called “dance partner,” Jesus calls us “to be gentle” (v2). The Greek word here (Gr. epieikes) means to give up your place in or on something. Think of offering someone your seat. As follower of Jesus, we give. We don’t take. Don’t be a bully. Stop stealing their lunch money. Stop being a punk. Stop being a hockey goon. Just because you’re stronger, doesn’t mean you should throw your weight around. Instead, be kind. Be sympathetic. Be considerate. Show grace. Show compassion. Paul tells his friends over in Philippi, “Let your gentleness (Gr. epieikes) be evident to all. The Lord is near” (Phil 4:5 NIV). 

Just in case we weren’t paying attention, Paul hits us with his velvet hammer of gentleness a second time. “Show perfect courtesy toward all people” (v2). Don’t be fooled into thinking this is just saying “please” or “thank you.” This isn’t simply holding the door for someone or playing the good Boy Scout by walking the old lady across the street. The word here (Gr. prautes) describes gentle friendliness, considerateness, and accommodating another’s weakness. It’s serving and loving someone right where they are. This is putting others’ needs ahead of my own. It’s a “me third” attitude. That means God first, others second, and me third. It’s walking behind the parade of life with a bucket and a shovel. It’s being a servant. Once again, don’t miss the fact that the apostle leaves no wiggle room or loopholes. I’m not simply considerate and courteous to folks who are nice to me. I’m to “show perfect courtesy TOWARD ALL PEOPLE” (v2 emphasis added). God has made every last one of us in His image (Gen 1:26-27). Every single person we lock eyes with is someone for whom Jesus died.

But there are a couple of problems here that we have to admit. Our culture has duped us into thinking that gentleness is being a wuss. But in so many cases, being gentle is expressed by the one who has the position of strength and leverage. Just because they can use their power against someone, doesn’t mean they should. Think of the religious thugs known as the scribes and Pharisees that Jesus dealt with. I think we all need to take a long and uncomfortable look in the mirror as ask ourselves if we’re spiritual bullies. People are broken and bruised. They need a Savior not a slugger. The other issue is that so many of us hide behind masks of intimidation. We play the bully when the truth is we’re broken. Chances are the person who torments you is hiding behind their own pain. Will Bowen hit the nail on the head when he wrote, “Hurt people hurt people.” 

Don’t drop the gloves. Show the love. Show the love of Jesus.