“Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation of good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. For some have already strayed after Satan. If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows” (1Tim 5:9-16).
Eligibility is a big deal. So many activities or programs require specific conditions before you can participate. An high school or college athlete must maintain a certain GPA. You have to be 16 before you can ruin your parents’ car insurance. If you’ve been paying attention during the past few elections, you know that a presidential candidate must be a natural born citizen. Someone determines ahead of time who’s in and who’s out. You must be eligible to participate.
Here in a letter to the pastor of the megachurch in Ephesus, Paul specifically spells out the eligibility to be a candidate for care as a widow (1Tim 5:9-16). A lot of VERY smart folks have argued until they’re blue in the face over what the apostle is talking about in this passage. Some say he’s setting the bar for some sort of women’s auxiliary. I guess that’s possible. But looking at both the text and the context, it sure seems more like he’s simply describing who the church is will help and who’s on the outside looking in. In other words, he’s providing eligibility guidelines for the widow protection program.
Pastor Tim has his hands full in Ephesus. His mentor Paul is on assignment up in Macedonia (1Tim 1:3), probably helping out the churches he started a few years back in Philippi, Thessalonica, and Berea (Acts 16:9-17:13). False teachers have left a massive dumpster fire in Ephesus (1Tim 1:4-7; 4:1-3). Tim’s job is to get people praying again (1Tim 2:1-8), assemble a new team of godly servant/leaders (1Tim 3:1-13), and focus everyone’s eyes back on the Gospel (1Tim 3:14-16; 4:3-4).
The apostle has just described how relationships within the church are like those in a family. We’re to love on the older women in our church like our own moms (1Tim 5:1-2). He uses that idea to kick off how to care for ladies who have lost their husbands (1Tim 5:3-7). We’re to show honor to those women who are legitimately widows. In other words, we provide practical support for any woman who has no husband or family to help them. If she has a family, they need to step in and step up for her. Your failure to provide doesn’t just diss your fam but disses your faith too (1Tim 5:8). You gotta figure that those spiritual con artists cooked up some scheme to divert cash that should been used to care for the widows into their own pockets. I told you these jerks were bad news.
At this point, Paul specifically describes a candidate for care in the church’s widow protection program. She needs to be at least sixty years old. Remember, the apostle is writing in the first century. Sixty isn’t the new forty as it is for us in 2016. Back in 64 A.D., sixty is more like the new eighty. Life was hard in the Greco-Roman world. Especially hard for women. Incredibly hard for older women. Impossibly hard for older widows. Is Paul dropping a sixty-year-old minimum age that’s still on the books in the 21st century? I don’t necessarily think so. But this is certainly a good place to start.
As we read on, we see eligible candidates should have “been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation of good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work” (v9-10). “The wife of one husband” (v9) is literally “one woman man.” This has really nothing to do with divorce and remarriage and EVERYTHING to do with faithfulness. Just as he did for elders and deacons (1Tim 3:2, 12), Paul is NOT talking about checking a box for marital status on an application. Was she devoted to her husband? In the words of Tammy Wynette, did she stand by her man?
The rest of these qualities point to a woman who poured her entire life into others. Her kids and grandkids. Opening her home to people she didn’t know so she could show them Jesus’ unconditional hospitality. Serving the followers of Christ when they were tired and burned out. Caring for the sick, disabled, and disenfranchised. These ladies give all of us a model to follow. It’s a reminder to each of us to stop staring at the person in the bathroom mirror and get our eyes on someone else for a change. Stop being selfish and start being selfless. I love how the Message says these ladies have a rep “for helping out with children, strangers, tired Christians, the hurt and troubled” (v10 The Message). Shouldn’t we all?
If these are the widows who are eligible, we then see those who don’t make the cut for support from the church. “But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith” (v11-12). These younger widows are still active and have, shall we say, a healthy libido. The phrase used by the ESV, “their passions draw them away” (v11), is actually one Greek word (Gr. katastreniao). It means to feel the impulses of sexual desire or experience strong lust. You can literally translate it to mean “according to desire.” Is Paul describing a first century cougar? Here’s the deal. It’s certainly okay for a widow to remarry. The danger is being so desperate to be married that you hook up with someone who doesn’t follow Jesus. That goes for anybody, male or female, young or old (2Cor 6:14).
Instead of devoting themselves to loving God by loving people, Paul says younger widows have a much higher probability of learning “to be idlers, going from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not” (v13). Do we really need to go into an in-depth word study of the original Greek here? In case you’re wondering, I did and it’s not pretty. It doesn’t take long before you get a picture of lazy ladies who spend all their time with their noses in everybody else’s business. Before you accuse the apostle of some sort of gender profiling, you do realize that men are just as capable of checking all these boxes, right? Come on, you know the difference between gossip and letting your friends know how they can “pray intelligently” about your neighbor down the street. Does your Facebook feed build folks up or tear them down?
Tim’s mentor has a better idea. “So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. For some have already strayed after Satan” (v14-15). Instead of falling for the lie that God has closed the book on their lives, he encourages these ladies to realize He may simply be writing a brand new chapter with a new husband and family. Be open to a relationship with a believer and the possibility of kids. This will serve the purpose of shutting up many of our critics. Clearly some Ephesian widows had already made the mistake of turning their backs on Jesus in order to date the devil. You do realize Satan doesn’t have your best interests in mind, don’t you?
Paul reminds us one more time of the big idea when it comes to caring for the women in our lives who’ve lost their husbands. “If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows” (v16). Here’s the bottom line. Don’t dump widows on the church. Mom and memaw are your family’s responsibility. There’s a pretty good chance she’s spent a few years wiping your nose and powdering your backside. Now is your chance to care for her. Don’t waste your congregation’s limited resources. “The church has its hands full already with widows who need help” (v16 The Message). Just call this the widow protection program.
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