Serve Like a Girl

“Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things” (1Tim 3:11).

Sadly, the followers of Jesus have earned a reputation as being more than a bit chauvinistic. Some churches seem more like a boys club in the treehouse than the all-inclusive family of God. You might as well hang a “No Girls Allowed” sign on the doors to any ministry other than teaching Sunday School, working in the nursery, or serving in the Women’s Auxiliary. You might think it's a putdown to say you do anything like a girl. Think again. These ladies Paul writes about have nothing to be embarrassed about. They rock. They're tough. Go ahead. Serve like a girl. 

There’s just one itty bitty problem with that. It’s called the Bible. Specifically, the New Testament. We’re not going to go into a huge debate here over women as pastors or elders. That’s for another time and another place. But here in 1 Timothy, we read about ladies who are willing to roll up their sleeves and do the dirty work of ministry. “Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things” (v11). 

But wait just a Macedonian minute. The apostle sure seems to be talking about deacons’ wives, not sister servants. They key word here is “seems.” A closer look at the passage is going to show us he’s NOT talking about Mrs. Deacon but Sister Servant. 

Don’t forget why Paul is writing to Timothy in the first place. The church in the big port city of Ephesus was the model for congregations everywhere. If you were a first century pastor, you probably went conferences at the Ephesian church. The apostle didn’t just personally plant this church but stuck around for three years to make sure these believers got off to a great start (Acts 19:1-40; 20:30). This church had a HUGE impact in spreading the Good News throughout through Asia Minor and was a major influence on other local congregations in the region. 

But something happened after Paul moved on. A posse of false teachers weaseled their way into church family and spread a gospel that was really no gospel at all. As a result, the apostle appoints his protege Timothy as the new lead pastor. His job is to clean up the mess made by these knuckleheads and get the church back on the right track (1Tim 1:3-7).

A big part of the job is filling the leadership void left by kicking out these terrible teachers. Tim is to appoint overseers to watch over the flock (1Tim 3:1-7) and servants called deacons to handle the day-to-day grunt work in the church (1Tim 3:8-10). So far, Paul talks about the dudes doing ministry. You get the idea there’s probably going to be a lot of scratching, burping, and spitting going on. Suddenly, the apostle acknowledges the importance of women serving right alongside the guys. 

Before we go any further, I always try to be VERY careful anytime I call into question the work of Bible translators. These folks are a LOT smarter than me. They’ve devoted years to studying the text and the original languages. My observations on this passage could well be off base. But I’m not exactly going rogue with this view. Early church father John Chrysostom (c349-407 AD) and all the ancient commentators agree that Paul is talking about women serving as deacons. Modern scholars and resources like John Piper, John MacArthur, Jamieson-Fausset-Brown, Robertson’s Word Pictures, and the Pulpit Commentary do too. So after digging into the Greek and reading the conclusions of people throughout the past few centuries, I feel like I’m in pretty good company. Whew. THAT’S a relief!

Actually, the key words in understanding just who Paul is talking about are the first three words here in the ESV: “Their wives likewise” (v11). The first thing is that there’s no “their” there in the original language. It comes from the assumption that the apostle is talking about the deacon’s better half. So, there’s no “their” there. 

Second is the word we see here translated as “wives” (v11). This is the Greek noun gune. It’s where we get the medical term gynecology. While gune certainly can mean wife, it often simply describes a woman old enough to be married. Before Jesus radically changed his life, the apostle formerly known as Saul terrorized both “men and women (Gr. gune)” (Acts 22:4). The former Pharisee certainly didn’t limit his torture to married couples. He hunted down both male and female followers of Jesus. He was an equal opportunity persecutor. The ESV translators hedge their bet by including a footnote at the bottom of the page giving you the option of “women” instead of “wives.”

Third, is the author’s use of “likewise” (v11). In many ways, it’s the secret decoder ring in unlocking who Paul’s talking about. “Likewise” (Gr. hosautos) is an adverb describing doing something in the same way or in like manner. Back in verse 8, the apostle made the connection between overseers and deacons using “likewise.” Here verse 11, he drops again. In doing so, he introduces a third team of servants in the church, in addition to elders/pastors/overseers and deacons. Deacons should be like overseers. These women should be like deacons. They aren’t missus to their deacon misters but fellow Servant Sisters.

Need more evidence that Paul’s not talking about Mrs. Deacon? Flip over and see what he has to say about one of the key leaders in a congregation just down the road from Corinth. “I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church at Cenchreae” (Rom 16:1). “Servant” is the same word here (Gr. diakonos) that Paul uses in 1 Timothy as “deacon” (1Tim 3:8, 10). No mention of Phoebe’s deacon hubby. She’s a hardworking Servant Sister.

If you’re still not buying what I’m selling, consider this. Why would Paul hand down requirements for deacons’ wives when he doesn’t say “boo” about elders’ spouses? See what I mean? Seeing this entire passage is about servant/leaders in the local church, these ladies have to be female deacons, not their wives. Putting it all together, here’s a solid reading of the verse: “In the same way (as male deacons we just talked about) women (deacons) must be…” (v11). You’ll notice I didn’t use “deaconess.” For me it carries too much baggage of stereotypical “woman’s work” in the local church. If you’re cool with it, knock yourself out.

These Sister Servants are to be first of all “dignified” (v11). Paul uses the same word (Gr. semnos) just a couple of verses back in describing deacons who are dudes (1Tim 3:8). It means someone who’s respectable and honorable. The term also paints a picture of someone who understands the seriousness of what’s at stake. They’re not flippant. Deacons no matter their gender don’t just blow things off and believe they don’t matter. Eternity hangs in the balance.

The apostle demands that these women servants must not be “slanderers” (v11). The noun in the original language (Gr. diabolos) is not exactly something you want on your resume. It means accuser or one given to malicious gossip. The writers of the NT use it when describing Satan as the Accuser (Mt 4:1-11; 13:39; 25:42; Lk 4:2-13; Jn 8:44; 13:2; Acts 10:38; 13:10; Eph 4:27; 6:11; Heb 2:14; James 4:7; 1Pet 5:8; 1Jn 3:8-10; Rev 2:10; 12:9-12; 20:2, 10). Paul used it in both letters to Tim (1Tim 3:6-7; 2Tim 2:26). The term literally means someone who throws something over. Don’t see the connection? Think of lobbing hand grenades of gossip into the conversation. This corresponds with male deacons as not being “double-tongued” (1Tim 3:8). In other words, a female deacon must not be a slandering and gossiping she-devil!

A Sister Servant should be “sober-minded” (v11). Paul’s word here (Gr. nephalious) describes someone who is calm and collected. It’s the same requirement of an overseer (1Tim 3:2). She should have clear eyes and a clear head. She shouldn’t have any habits or addictions that cloud her thinking. This corresponds with this goes hand-in-hand with the stipulation that deacons be “not addicted to much wine” (1Tim 3:8). Again, there’s too much at stake to not have your faculties. You don’t want to make your spiritual 911 call to someone who’s wasted. It doesn’t say you can’t have a glass of cab. But if you’re going to be drunk on anything, let’s make it the Holy Spirit (Eph 5:18).

Finally, she needs to be “faithful in all things” (v11). Just in case you’re wondering, this pretty much covers everything else we haven’t talked about. Not just faithful in some or most areas. ALL things. You may be wondering if Paul is talking about her own trustworthiness or her trust in Jesus. You can bet the farm he’s talking about both. No matter what’s dropped in her lap, you can be sure this lady deacon will do whatever needs to be done. You can trust her with sensitive info. She’ll be faithful get it done. She’s totally dependable. And she’s also a model of trust in her ever-faithful Savior. 

Don’t make the mistake of breezing past that last point. She doesn’t put faith in her own performance, but has totally trusts that Jesus has done for her what she could never dream of doing for herself. He lived the perfect life of obedience to God that we failed to live. He died the bloody death on a cross for our sin that we should have died. He rose to a spectacular new life that we don’t deserve. She trusts in what He’s done on our behalf.

So just who are these Sister Servants the apostle describes? Well one thing is clear. These are women of great integrity. Are we talking about some sort of super spiritual Rosie the Riveter? Not necessarily. They may not look that way on the outside, but these ladies are tough on the inside. They have the ability to get into the muck and mire of ministry and do what needs to be done. Don’t misunderstand me. They’re not heartless, not by a LONG shot! As a matter of fact, a lady deacons are willing to get dirty because her heart breaks for others. 

A couple of other translations do a great job of describing the kind of godly character needed for the job. “[The] women likewise must be worthy of respect and serious, not gossipers, but temperate and self-controlled, [thoroughly] trustworthy in all things” (v10 AMP). The paraphrase known as The Message picks up on the idea that no one is lowering the bar for ladies. “No exceptions are to be made for women—same qualifications: serious, dependable, not sharp-tongued, not overfond of wine” (v10 The Message).

These traits aren’t limited to lady deacons. Imagine your church being filled with followers of Jesus who are “dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things” (v11). Sounds like a fellowship filled with salt spreaders and light shiners that’s making a real difference in the community, doesn’t it? If you want to know what a mature believer looks like, find the nearest Sister Servant. Go ahead. Serve like a girl. That's a good thing.