Humor That Hurts

Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving (Eph 5:4).

I love humor.  I truly believe it’s one of God’s greatest gifts.  But Paul warns his buddies in Ephesus to not let their jokes go too far or get out of control.  “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving” (v4).  The apostle is NOT saying that followers of Jesus should have their funny bone surgically removed.  But as believers, our humor shouldn’t harm others.  Our humor shouldn’t hurt others.  Rather than telling another dirty joke, let’s spend our time thanking God for all that He’s given us.  And that includes humor and laughter.

Can I be transparent for just a moment?  Thanks.  I appreciate that.  The Holy Spirit really busted my chops when I read this.  As I said before, I love humor.  I love to laugh and make folks laugh too.  There’s only one problem.  I love snark.  I love sarcasm.  I love a sharp zinger that puts someone else down.  But this can be a VERY slippery slope.  What starts as good fun can end up tearing someone else down in the name of delivering a punch line.  That’s humor that hurts.  Paul’s words here to the Ephesian church are more than a bit uncomfortable for me.  As the old saying goes, he’s gone from preachin’ to meddlin’.  I know that’s the case for me.

And let’s also not forget what’s going on here.  Paul is writing to the Ephesian church from the slammer in Rome.  He’s gotten word of a nasty heresy that’s making the rounds just down the road in places like Colossae , Hierapolis and Laodicea.  A group of spiritual hucksters has rolled into the region selling a load of spiritual snake oil.  Using this counterfeit gospel, they’ve duped Jesus’ followers into thinking our Savior got them into His kingdom but they’re responsible for staying in.  They’ve sold them on a super secret formula to do just that.  Follow their intricate list of religious rules to finish the job that Jesus started (Col 2:15-23).  There’s little doubt that following this false teaching would have resulted not just in an arrogance but would have led to cocky put downs of those who weren’t part of the “in” crowd.

First the apostle fires off a letter to these churches setting them straight.  That’s the book of the Bible we call Colossians.  Before hands that to his delivery man Tychicus (Eph 6:21; Col 4:7), he quickly writes another note to the folks in Ephesus, just 100 miles up the road.  The two letters cover a LOT of the same instruction.  Think of Colossians as treatment for the disease and Ephesians an inoculation against it.  OK, let’s dig in.

Paul begins by telling folks to avoid “filthiness” (v4).  This is the Greek word aischrotes.  It means obscenity and ugliness.  In this context, “filthiness” is something indecent, dishonorable or shameful.  It’s an act of defiance of social or moral standards resulting in disgrace, embarrassment and shame.  It’s the only time the term shows up in Scripture.  Considering the context, the apostle is probably talking about conversation focused on sex.  He’s just told us to avoid sexual sin and porn (Eph 5:3).  And in the next verse, he warns us that folks obsessed with sex, porn and other forms of greed won’t be enjoying the privileges of membership in God’s kingdom (Eph 5:5).  The placement of this verse makes it clear that the “filthiness” he’s talking about is focused on sex.

The apostle wants us to avoid talking about sex in a way that turns people into objects.  Talking about sex is certainly fine for married couples.  As a matter of fact, they should! Paul certainly doesn’t mind talking and teaching about sex in a healthy way.  He told the Corinthians that a husband and wife should have a healthy sex life (1Cor 7:1-5).  There might be times to cool it during important times of prayer.  But a lack of sex opens the door for Satan to tempt us with adultery.  And any married couple would do well to do an in depth study of the Song of Songs.  But the rest of us need to ignore Salt & Pepa’s advice to talk about sex obsessively and continually.

Next we’re to knock off the “foolish talk (Gr. morologia)” (v4).  This is blabbing that is both foolish and stupid.  Useless speech.  Silly speech.  Like the previous term, it’s the only time it shows up in the NT.  This is talk that’s a waste of time.  It has no purpose.  No redeeming value.  It’s just talking to hear yourself talk.  It doesn’t teach.  It doesn’t build up.  It’s not even funny.  Stop wasting your time and mine.  Put a sock in it.

Finally, Paul wants us to put an end to “crude joking” (v4).  In a general sense, the Greek word eutrapelia describes all humor, joking and facetiousness.  In a good sense, the original term describes a well-turned phrase or sharp wit.  But given the context (as well as the rest of the humor we see in Scripture), he’s talking here about dirty jokes and vulgar comedy.  This is using profanity and foul language for shock effect.  It’s coarse jesting involving vulgar expressions and indecent content.  For 21^st century believers, this means we should avoid crap like dirty jokes and dropping the F-bomb.  Do you think that’s the kind of humor Jesus used?  Naw, I don’t think so either.

What is Paul NOT saying?  He certainly isn’t telling the Ephesians to stop laughing or having a sense of humor.  King David wrote a lyric about His laughing God (Ps 2:4).  The authors of the Scripture are pretty clear that joy and laughter are a key part of what it means to imitate Jesus.  In my mind, the radical Rabbi/Carpenter is the funniest dude to ever walk the planet.  His teachings are loaded with ridiculous images and hilarious punch lines.  Don’t believe me?  Think about walking around with a 2x4 sticking out of you eyeball!  Christ nicknamed the hot-headed brothers Jimmy and John as the “Sons of Thunder.”  And tell me it’s not a hoot that He drafted Saul the Pharisee, the most legalist Jew of all time, to be His apostle to those filthy Gentiles!  Now THAT’S funny!!  On the night before His murder, Jesus told His crew that a huge point to all His teaching was “that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (Jn 15:11).  I don’t see that as a life with our sense of humor cut out.  And one awesome day on the other side of eternity, we’ll laugh ourselves silly (Ps 126:2).

God’s people aren’t above a good put down.  The Bible is loaded with them.  Here’s just a couple.  The prophet Elijah trash talked the prophets of Baal at the big showdown on Mount Carmel.  When their god didn’t respond to their pleas, Elijah said that Baal might be in the can (1Ki 18:11).  Go ahead.  Look it up.  That’s EXACTLY what he meant.  Paul wasn’t above comedy even when describing the most important doctrine.  He told the folks in Galatia that folks who are so hepped up on others being circumcised in order to follow Jesus should go ahead and “emasculate themselves” (Gal 5:12).  If they won’t cut it out, they should cut it off!  He used crude language when appropriate.  The apostle told the Philippians that compared to Jesus, everything else is just a big steaming pile (Phil 3:8).

But this is a warning that our jokes and humor have boundaries.  Don’t tear people down.  Don’t objectify certain people, races or cultures just to be punchlines.  Don’t talk about sex in unhealthy ways.  Don’t cause others to stumble in their walk with Jesus (1Cor 8:9).  Don’t clown around to the point of missing our mission.  Instead, replace all of your dirty jokes and talk about sex with thanksgiving to God.  We’ve got plenty to be thankful for.  Am I breathing?  Do I have a roof over my head?  Do I know where my next meal is coming from?  Do I have a Savior that loves me?  Did He love me SO much that He was willing to come to earth, live the perfect life that I completely failed to live?  Did He die on a cross as punishment for my sin that I should have died?   Did He rise to a glorious new life that I certainly don’t deserve?  There’s plenty to thank Him for.  

The Message is a fantastic and fresh paraphrase of the Bible.  I love how Eugene Peterson brings this verse to life.  “Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, those who follow Jesus have better uses for language than that. Don’t talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn’t fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect” (Eph 5:4 The Message).  Stop the humor that hurts.  Stop the humor that harms.  Instead start thanking Jesus for who He is and what He’s done.

So what do you think?  Agree?  Disagree?  I would love to hear from you.  Drop a comment below and let's chat.

Can't You Smell That Smell?

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it might give grace to those who hear (Eph 4:29).

Whew!  Do you smell that?  Way too often, the stuff that comes out of my mouth is just downright nasty.  Putrid.  Rotten.  I’m not talking about bad breath.  I’m talking about disgusting talk.  Sarcastic.  Snarky.  Critical.  Cutting.  Rather than building folks up at just the right time, I look for the perfect chance to cut them down.  But Paul picks up the spiritual two-by-four here to get my attention.  “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it might give grace to those who hear” (v29).  Instead of sick smell of death, it should have the sweet aroma of life.

Can’t you smell that smell?

From his cell in a Roman slammer, Paul writes to his buddies back in Ephesus, a massive port city on the west coast of modern day Turkey.  He’s letting them know what life looks like once God transforms you from being a member of the Walking Dead into being “alive together with Christ” (Eph 2:1, 4).  He’s describing how differently we look once we’ve taken off the filthy old life of sin and pulled on that brand new wardrobe of righteousness from Jesus’ closet (Eph 4:22, 24).  This is more than simply behavior modification and a “do better” gospel of self-help.  He does for us what we could never do for ourselves (Eph 2:5-8).  Christ does the dirty work and changes us from the inside out (Eph 3:16, 4:23).  We’re no longer out there trying to do it on our own.  We’re “in Christ,” a phrase that the apostle uses in this letter in some form or the other at least 28 times.

My speech is a huge indicator of what Jesus is doing in my life.  The radical Rabbi/Carpenter said so Himself.  “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Mt 12:34).  What’s inside is eventually coming out.  If my heart is rotten, my speech stinks.  Paul has already warned the Ephesian believers that lying has to stop and truth needs to start (Eph 4:25).  Now he goes on to write that it’s time to put a cork in our self-centered snark.  “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths” (v29).  That’s step one.  The apostle uses the word sapros, which can certainly mean bad, unwholesome, unprofitable and poor quality.  But it’s worse than that.  It reeks.  Talk that’s rotten, putrid, decayed and diseased.  Stinks like a rotting corpse.  Gangrene.  Decomposing flesh.  Pretty nasty description, right?  Well, that’s because it is.  Way too often my speech smells like something has died.  Just like a rotten apple causes other fruit to decay, so does my mouth.

Every time biblical authors use this Greek term, it’s kinda nasty.  Downright disgusting.  Jesus tells His crew that while good trees provide sweet and delicious produce, “the diseased (Gr. sapros) tree bears bad fruit” (Mt 7:17).  There are few things that smell worse than rotting fruit.  One thing that does stink more is dead fish.  In his rather aromatic description of the Parable of the Net, Christ paints a picture of a fisherman sorting through his net full of fish.  The angler hung on to the keepers but “threw away the bad (Gr. sapros)” (Mt 13:48).  

Go ahead, stick your nose in there.  PHEW!!!  That’s what my speech smells like to others once they get a whiff.  Here’s the deal.  When you’re around stuff the stinks, you get used to it.  You no longer notice it.  It’s like bad breath.  The person who has it can’t smell it.  They’re used to it.  Your language may stink to high heaven but you have no idea.  Allow the Holy Spirit to examine your speech.  Is it harmful?  Do you default to sarcasm and snark?  Do you ever thank anyone?  Do you ever encourage anyone?  Is your speech harmful or helpful?  While those around are painfully aware of the sewer that is my mouth, I probably can’t smell that smell all by myself.  

Paul gives me a few helpful hints to know if my mouth smells like a clogged toilet.  Over in his note to the folks in Colossae, he says to toss in the trash every bit of “anger, wrath, malice, slander and obscene talk from your mouth” (Col 3:8).  Like a loving dad, Solomon told his son the very same thing.  “Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you” (Prov 4:24).  Later in this letter to the church in Ephesus, the apostle warns against letting my sense of rumor get out of control.  “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving” (Eph 5:4).  But we can’t do it alone.  Without God’s help, we don’t stand a chance.  That’s why David sang, “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Ps 141:3).

Once God has allowed us to get a whiff of rotten language, it’s time for step two.  Once we stop the stank, we should saying things that are “good for building up” (v29).  My words should be instructive.  My words should be encouraging.  My words should be uplifting (even when correcting).  My words should be well-timed (Prov 15:23; 25:11; 24:26).  Earlier, Paul describes how church leaders and teachers build up members of the church so they can be useful in ministry, not demolish them and make them useless (Eph 4:12).  Put down the wrecking ball.  Drop the sledgehammer.  Stop tearing down.  Start building up.  The folks over in Thessalonica were doing it.  “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing” (1Th 5:11).  Start doing it.  Keep doing it.

The apostle makes it clear that the “when” of my words are almost as important as the “what.”  My language needs to be appropriate, “as fits the occasion” (v29).  Just as in comedy, timing is everything.  Let’s face it.  The key to humor is dropping that punchline at the perfect moment.  I’m not saying that encouragement must be dry and without a smile.  As a matter of fact, I think Jesus was probably one of the funniest guys to ever walk the planet.  What I am saying is to apply some of the same discernment and timing to encourage as you do to deliver a zinger.  It’s just as important to say the proper words at the right time as it is to say the right words.  Timing is everything.

Finally, Paul tells me that my speech should drip with God’s goodness and that “it might give grace” (v29)  It ALWAYS comes back to grace.  It ALWAYS comes back to getting good stuff that we don’t deserve.  Since Jesus blasted me with His fire hose of grace, saved me by His grace (Eph 2:5-8), keeps saving me by His grace, I should drip with His grace.  That means speaking with grace each and every chance I get.  Just like Jesus did (Lk 4:22).  Eugene Peterson paraphrases Paul’s command this way: “Watch the way you talk.  Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth.  Say only what helps, each word a gift” (Eph 4:29 The Message).

Can’t you smell that smell?

As always, I would love your thoughts, comments and input.  It's pretty darn easy.  Just post something below!