Greedy Leading

“For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain” (v7).

“Greed is good.” If you’ve seen the 1987 movie “Wall Street,” you know those are the infamous words of Gordon Gekko. For this fictional corporate raider, there was nothing he wouldn’t do, nobody he wouldn’t destroy to make a buck. Many even say it was Michael Douglas’ Oscar-winning performance planted all the bad financial seeds for the economic meltdown of 2008. I’m not smart enough to figure that out, but I am sure that Gordon wouldn’t be list of elder candidates in one of the Cretan churches. You see, Jesus’ church is a place for men and women on mission. It is no place for mercenaries and greedy leading.

Don’t forget the original reason Paul wrote this letter to Titus. The Gospel of Jesus has turned Crete upside down. There are new believers all across this Mediterranean island. The apostle has moved on to his next mission, probably the Greek seaport of Nicopolis (Titus 3:12). He’s handpicked his “go to” guy to wrap things up. Paul leaves the Big T with a three-point plan. Find spiritual leaders for all of the new churches (Titus 1:3). Stuff a sock in mouths of false teachers (Titus 1:10-11). Implement a sustainable method of teaching believers what it means to be a follower of Jesus (Titus 2:1-10). 

First of all, Titus is scouting for elders. There’s a leadership vacuum in these new churches. Paul gives his guy a list of both qualifications and disqualifications. Most importantly, these dudes need to be “above reproach” (Titus 1:6-7). This is such a non-negotiable that he mentions it TWICE! They are to be faithful husbands, fathers, and followers of Jesus (Titus 1:6). As “God’s stewards” (v7), elders need to always remember that they aren’t just leaders but followers of Christ as well. Then the apostle lists a series of red flags that will eliminate many candidates. “He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain” (v7). Just in case you weren’t paying attention, let’s review. If you’re self-absorbed, you’re out. No hot heads need apply. Addicts should seek help, not a position of leadership. Elders must not be bullies. The last in this is greed. Sorry, Mr. Gekko. Greed is NOT good. Jesus has no place in his church for greedy leading.

A closer look at the original language give us the Greek word aischrokerdes. How do you pronounce it? I don’t have a clue. But I do know what it means. It describes someone obsessed with money or greedy in a shameful way. This is a sordid preoccupation with profit. You don’t want folks taking the spiritual lead obsessed with financial greed. In another letter to Timothy, Paul tells him that anybody “greedy for dishonest gain (Gr. aischrokerdes)” can forget about serving God’s people as a deacon (1Tim 3:8). Check out how the various translators get the idea across. “Not given to filthy lucre” (KJV, YLT). “Not pursuing dishonest gain” (NIV). “Not fond of sordid gain” (NASB). “Not greedy for money” (NKJV). “Not desiring profit for himself” (BBE). “Not be grasping and greedy for filthy lucre (financial gain)” (AMP). “Not money hungry” (The Message).

When you break down this compound word, you literally get “disgraceful (aischro-) acquisition (-kerdes).” It’s not bad to get stuff. It’s never a bad thing to want more of Jesus. As a matter of fact, Paul uses a similar word when he lays his resume and 401k next to his relationship with the Lord. “But whatever gain (Gr. kerdos) I had, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and them as rubbish” (Phil 3:7). Just as they are today, money-grubbing teachers obsessed with finding a way to leverage godliness as a way to get rich back in the first century. Paul tells Tim, “Now there is great gain (Gr. kerdos) in godliness and contentment…But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin. for the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil” (1Tim 6:6, 9-10). If you want to be greedy for something, be greedy for godliness. Be greedy for more Jesus.

I don’t think you have to be a brain scientist or rocket surgeon to see why you don’t want a greedy leader in the local church. But don’t miss the fact that these qualities also perfectly describe the Perfect Elder. Jesus. Our Savior is anything but greedy for financial gain. As a matter of fact, despite being wealthier than we can ever wrap our brains around, “yet for your sake He became poor, so that you by His poverty might become rich” (2Cor 8:9). You do realize Paul’s NOT talking about Christ padding your bank account, right? Right? God is remaking us in His image. A big part of that is turning us from takers into givers. How does Jesus describe our generous God? “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son” (Jn 3:16, emphasis added). Over and over and over, the pages of the Bible drip with the amazing grace of our giving God! We’re to give not to gain. As a matter of fact, you can easily say that giving is the godliest way of gaining. 

When it comes His church, Jesus has no place for greedy leading.

Drunk & Violent

“For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain” (v7).

According to the great philosopher and theologian Homer Simpson, you can always count on Lee Marvin. “Wait, wait! Here comes Lee Marvin! He’s always drunk and violent!” While the late actor cashed a career of checks playing liquored up brawlers, the Apostle Paul makes it clear that none of Marvin’s characters would qualify as an elder in the local church. Being an addict or ready to throw down are immediate red flags that you need to get help, not provide spiritual leadership. 

Paul has left his go-to guy Titus on Crete. The grace of Jesus has just rolled over this Mediterranean island like a spiritual tsunami. God has deployed the apostle elsewhere, probably the Greek seaport of Nicopolis (Titus 3:12). To wrap things up, he gives the assignment to his trusted righthand man Titus. He leaves the Big T with a three point objective. Fill the leadership vacuum in local churches by appointing elders (Titus 1:5). Shut down the message of a team of false teachers (Titus 1:10-11). Establish a self-sustaining and replicating process of teaching and discipleship (Titus 2:1-10). Don’t worry about a worship team. Setting up a nursery and children’s ministry aren’t at the top of the list. What are the priorities? Spiritual leadership, correcting false teachers, and sustainable disciple-making. I might be wrong, but these might be the front burner issues for anyone planting a new church.

When it comes to appointing elders, Paul gives Titus a list of qualities, “must haves” and “must NOT haves” (Titus 1:6-9). They should be men of integrity with no hint of scandal. They must be faithful husbands, faithful fathers, and faithful followers of Jesus. They need to always remember that while they watch over the spiritual welfare of believers, they only have their authority because they are under the authority of Christ. Then the apostle turns to the red flags. “He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain” (v7). Is he a self-absorbed hot head? If so, that resume immediately goes in the round file. Does the dude have a addiction issues? Is he looking for a fight? Yeah, these are warning lights of disqualification as well. Jesus isn’t looking for leaders who are drunk and violent. This is His church, not a biker bar.

When describing the “drunkard” (v7), Paul uses the Greek term paroinos. It’s a compound word that literally means “beside (para-) wine (-oinos). Is this somebody that always has an open bottle of wine next to them? But he’s talking about so much more than a bottle of Merlot or Chardonnay. This is someone addicted to alcohol, someone who habitually drinks too much, or someone who drinks to get drunk. Don’t limit this to simply drinking alcohol to excess. Anyone with any sort of physical addiction is unfit for leadership. An elder must be ready to follow Jesus when making tough decisions. He can’t be preoccupied with searching for his next hit, next high, or next hangover. The apostle went on to tell his Ephesian friends not to let mind-altering substances dominate your life. “Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit” (Eph 5:18). The big point here is whatever fills you, controls you. 

So is Paul telling Titus that spiritual leaders can’t drink alcohol? I think that’s a bit of a stretch. Jesus Himself enjoyed enjoyed a glass of good wine. Shoot, His very first miracle was to keep the wedding reception going in Bethany when the wine ran out (Jn 2:1-11). He used wine to symbolize His shed blood at the Last Supper (Mt 26:27-29). He even said that He looks forward to that great day when we can all enjoy a glass of wine together at the Wedding Supper of the Lamb! What was Paul’s take on alcohol? He instructed his buddy Timothy that having a glass of wine for health reasons (1Tim 5:23). Tim just happened to be a pastor in Ephesus at the time. So it’s really a slippery slope to try and use Scripture to ban elders from taking a drink of alcohol. But let’s be clear here. VERY clear. Any person should be vigilant in avoiding anything that can steal the place of priority that Jesus must have in our lives. As our Lord, Christ is our boss. Not a bottle. Remember, whatever fills you, controls you. 

It’s not surprise that the very next leadership disqualifier Paul lists is being “violent” (v7). They call alcohol “liquid courage” for a reason. Too many times, folks under the influence are looking for a fight. Yeah, this pretty much eliminates any of Lee Marvin’s characters from sitting on the elder board. But this is more than just being a drunken brawler. A closer look at the original language reveals the Greek word plektes. This literally describes a striker, hitter, puncher, or bruiser. Somebody who’s a bully has no place as a leader in Jesus’ church. Believers shouldn’t have to worry that their pastor or leaders might punch them in the face. Paul is also warning spiritual leaders to stop looking for a fight. There is no spiritual gift of aggravation or confrontation. There are plenty of opportunities for that without prowling for a fight. Our leaders should be tough as nails. But they shouldn’t skate around the ice like a hockey goon looking for anyone willing to drop the gloves. 

When it comes to spiritual leaders, you can’t be drunk and violent. Sorry, Lee Marvin.

Self-Absorbed Hot Heads Need Not Apply

“He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered” (v7).

You’ve seen job postings on the web. They list various job requirements. Certain levels of education and degrees. Particular training. Specific skill sets. Even character qualities that an applicant should possess. Rarely does a potential employer let you know what they are NOT looking for. Not so with Paul. He doesn’t just give Titus a list of qualities God expects in spiritual leaders, he tells him what he doesn’t want. Right off the bat, he tells the Big T that self-absorbed hot heads need not apply.

Here’s the scene on the island of Crete. It’s around AD 62. The Gospel of Jesus is radically transforming lives around the Mediterranean rim. That includes this island just off the coast of Greece. God has used the Apostle Paul in a huge way to welcome people all across Crete into His kingdom. At this point, Paul has moved on, probably to the Grecian port city of Nicopolis (Titus 3:12). But there’s still plenty of work left to do. To wrap things up, the apostle has left his “go to” guy Titus. He has three things to do. First of all, find qualified spiritual leaders called “elders” to fill the leadership vacuum (Titus 1:5). Second, shut down and shut up the posse of false teachers that are wreaking havoc on the island (Titus 1:10-11). Third, establish a sustainable structure for discipleship among the followers of Jesus (Titus 2:1-10).

Paul instructs Titus to look for men of integrity to lead. These should be dudes who are “above reproach.” This is such a critical quality that he repeats himself (Titus 1:6-7). They are to be faithful husbands and fathers (Titus 1:6). As “overseers,” these elders are to keep watch over the spiritual welfare of the church (Titus 1:7). They need to remember that as “God’s steward,” they are not the boss. They are working for the Man. The God Man. 

Suddenly the apostle changes directions. He stops listing what God is looking for in His leaders and lets us know what He doesn’t want. “He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered” (v7). Hot heads and quick triggers need not apply. Paul uses the Greek word authades, which literally describes someone obsessed with pleasing themselves. You know the kind of person he’s talking about. Selfish. Self-absorbed. Self-obsessed. Egocentric. Somebody who lets you know they’re the most important person in the room. They’re constantly looking out for number one. Their wants and needs take priority over everything else. You might say they have an “I” problem. The only other time this word is used in the NT is when Peter warns believers about team of self-absorbed spiritual hucksters infiltrating local churches. These goobers “indulge in the lust of defiling passion and despise authority. Bold and willful (Gr. authades), they do not tremble as they blaspheme the glorious ones” (2Pet 2:10).

Yeah, these are NOT the leaders Jesus is looking for to lead His church. He’s after folks who’ve been radically transformed by His grace and understand who they would be without Him. When the Sons of Thunder attempted a power grab among the disciples, the Rabbi/Carpenter shut them down immediately. “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be the slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Mk 10:43-45). Instead of “me first,” Jesus’ leaders are “me third.” God first. Others second. Me third. That’s not just what He’s looking for in His elders, but all believers. “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others as more significant than yourselves,. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Phil 2:3-4). In other words, be like Jesus (Phil 2:5-8). In the famous words of Rick Warren, “It’s not about you.”

The second character trait that will disqualify an elder candidate is being a hot head. A spiritual leader must not be “quick-tempered” (Gr. orgilos). This is somebody prone to anger. Given the pairing with the warning against arrogance, Paul is probably talking about folks who get mad when they don’t get their way. Whatever the case, there’s absolutely no place for folks in ministry leadership a hair trigger. That would be bad news, tennis shoes. King Solomon told his son not to stir things up, but cool them down. “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention” (Prov 15:18). Someone with a long fuse also “has great understanding” (Prov 14:29). Jesus’ kid brother James encourages believers to have a very, very long fuse. “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20). 

That doesn’t mean God can’t transform hot tempers into cool heads. Check out the kind of fruit God’s Spirit produces in the followers of Jesus. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Gal 5:22-23). God’s leaders aren’t locked and loaded, looking for a fight. They’re full of love and joy. They’re peaceful. They’re patient. They’re kind. They’re gentle. They have full control of their actions. 

This doesn’t mean that a leader shouldn’t have passion. This doesn’t mean that a leaders should never get angry. It does mean that he should be slow to anger. Like God. He should have a long fuse. Like God. Remember, that more than once Jesus got mad. Two different times He cleaned house at His Father’s temple (Lk 19:45-46; Jn 2:13-22). Over and over, the writers of the Old Testament describe our amazingly gracious and always loving God as “slow to anger” (Ex 34:6; Num 14:18; Neh 9:17; Ps 86:15; 103:8; 145:8; Joel 2:13; Nah 1:3). God has temper. It just takes Him a long, loooooooooong time to lose it. It should be the same with leaders in the local church.

Self-absorbed hot heads need not apply.

Management Material

“For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach” (v7).

Org charts are important. You need to know where you fit into the big picture. In your company. In your organization. It’s not different in Jesus’ church. In the first part of verse seven, Paul instructs his man Titus as to the role of the elder. The Big T gets a memo from the home office telling him what it looks like in God’s view to be management material. The Lord places these spiritual leaders in critical management roles. But they aren’t there to get the corner office or the company car. He selects these managers to on the lookout for the welfare of His people. They are all accountable to ultimate Overseer. That’s what it means to be God’s manager.

If you’re not familiar with the situation Titus is facing, let’s set the scene. It’s the first century and he’s on the island of Crete just off the coast of Greece. The Good News of Jesus has just washed across the island like a supernatural tsunami. Followers of Christ are in every city. But when it comes to spiritual leaders, there’s a big fat zero. The Apostle Paul tells his buddy Titus to look for mature believers to fill the leadership void (Titus 1:5). He’s not just looking for a body slightly above room temperature. He’s not desperate. The Big T is scouting for men of integrity. Men who are “above reproach” (Titus 1:6-7). 

A big part of being an elder in the local church is remembering your place in the org chart. First of all, an elder is an “overseer” (v7). This simply means that he is to keep an eagle eye out for the spiritual welfare of the folks in the congregation. Secondly, he’s “God’s steward” (v7). An elder isn’t the boss. He’s not the one in charge. No, the overseer is a manager for Jesus. Paul uses the Greek word oikonomos. It’s a compound word that literally means the “law of the house.” 

In its most basic sense, this is a manager of a household. One trusted with the management of another’s affairs. Someone placed in charge by one in higher authority. It’s a person in authority but under authority. In this case, that authority is the Highest Authority. Jesus. So instead of an elder/overseer being the big boss man, he’s actually middle management at best. But in the world of the local church, he’s a servant-leader. He serves his Savior by serving Jesus’ people. It’s about humility. It’s about putting others first. It’s about putting your needs on the back burner. That’s what it means to management material in the eyes of God.

There are several times we see stewards or managers (Gr. oikonomos) in the New Testament. Paul lists the city manager of Rome as a member of the church in that city, “Erastus the city treasurer (Gr. oikonomos)” (Rom 16:23). The apostle tells the folks in Corinth Jesus has placed him and the other spiritual leaders in the position of “stewards (Gr. oikonomos) of the mysteries of God” (1Cor 4:1). Twice, Jesus gives examples of good managers (Gr. oikonomos) as what it looks like to be one of His followers (Lk 12:42; 16:1). So in one very real sense, EVERY believer is a steward of the resources and gifts given by God. How are you using what the Lord has given you? You do realize that they aren’t just for you, right? You do understand that He’s blessed you to be a blessing to others, right? Pete writes that each of us as followers of Jesus is use our spiritual gifts wisely, “use it to serve one another, as good stewards (Gr. oikonomos) of God’s varied grace” (1Pet 4:10). Are you a wise manager of what He’s given you?

While Paul is certainly talking specifically about the office of elder in the local church, every person saved by Jesus is a spiritual leader on some level. You exercise influence on the people you interact with. Are you a faithful steward of what God has given you? Are you a good manager of the resources the Lord has blessed you with? Are you leveraging your relationships, your job, your place in society to the glory of Christ’s kingdom. Are you loving and serving Jesus by loving and serving people? Our Savior said Himself that we keep God’s commands when we do that.

Are you management material?

God's Watchmen

“For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach” (v7).

Bear Bryant’s tower was legendary. The Alabama football coach would watch his team practice from the top of a tower. From there he could see everything. He could see if his players were hustling. He could see if his players were tackling. He could see if his players were learning. The bottom line: the Bear could see. God is not calling spiritual leaders to climb a tower where they can bark out instructions. But He is telling leaders to make sure they have a great view of what’s going on in His church.

The Apostle Paul has very specific instructions for Titus. He’s his “go to” guy for a very critical mission on Crete. The Gospel of Jesus has washed over the island like a supernatural tsunami. Lives changed. Eternities altered. There are three of issues that need to be addressed. There is a complete lack of organization and leadership. The apostle tells the Big T to put leaders in place in local churches (Titus 1:5). Another front burner issue is the presence of spiritual snake oil salesmen (Titus 1:10-11, 16). Somebody needs to stuff a sock in their pie hole immediately. Finally, Titus must put in place a sustainable structure of discipleship (Titus 2:1-10). Once that done, a system will be in place so that more and more people can come to understand what a relationship with Jesus really and truly looks like.

But first things first. These believers needs leaders and they need them now. Paul tells his special agent to find elders to watch and care for God’s people. Most importantly, they are to be men of integrity. “Above reproach” (Titus 1:6). Beyond suspicion. To connect their names with scandal is crazy talk. Faithful husbands. Faithful fathers. Faithful followers. Character is critical. The apostle mentions not once, but twice (Titus 1:6-7). Yeah, integrity is clearly a big deal, especially when placing leaders in positions to watch out for God’s people.

After telling the Big T to “appoint elders” (Titus 1:6), Paul suddenly calls them “overseers” (v7). So which is it, Mr. Apostle? Well, both. Elder is the title. Oversight is the function. A closer look at the original language will give us a better understanding. The term “overseer” is the Greek noun episkopos. This is a compound word that means “over” (epi-) “watcher” (-skopos). This is one who watches over the welfare of others, a person charged with the duty of seeing things are done correctly, curator, guardian, manager, or keeper.

There’s an idea here of having GREAT vision. Ted Williams’ eyesight was legendary. The Hall of Fame hitter could see the spin of each pitch quicker than any other batter. He could see if it was a fastball. He could tell if it was a curve. That allowed Williams to make the decision whether to swing in a nano-second. Spiritual leaders need great vision too. They need to have a clear view of the spiritual condition of their church, their small group, or their team. They need to be able to distinguish if something a true threat to the health of God’s people. At times, that needs to be done quickly. As overseers, elders need to have GREAT vision. Without visionary leaders, the church is in a world of hurt (Prov 29:18). Great leaders have God’s vision.

But let’s be VERY clear about what these folks are looking out for. They are NOT looking for rule breakers. They are NOT spiritual law enforcement. They are NOT just waiting for somebody to step out of bounds and throw the flag. No, these overseers are on the lookout for the spiritual welfare of God’s people. They constantly have their eyes peeled for ways to draw others deeper into a relationship with Jesus. 

Watching out for the welfare of others is a VERY big deal in the NT church. This term shows up over and over again as the Good News turns the world upside down in the first century. Paul reminds the Ephesian elders to be ever vigilant because God’s Spirit is the one who placed them as caretakers of God’s church. “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers (Gr. episkopos), to care for the church of God” (Acts 20:28). He and Timothy wrote to all the believers in Philippi but the dudes on the lookout to protect them (Phil 1:1). The apostle tells Tim that if someone has the desire to spiritual watchman, that’s a good thing. A very good thing. “If anyone aspires to the office of overseer (Gr. episkopos), he desires a noble task” (1Tim 3:1). He goes on list the qualities that Jesus requires in those men He places as protectors of His flock (1Tim 3:1-7). 

The bottom line is that our Savior is actually the One watching over all of His people. Pete tells us that every spiritual leader is working for the ultimate Guardian. Jesus is the “Shepherd and Overseer (Gr. episkopos) of your souls” (1Pet 2:25). You may be in a church with some jacked up leaders (I would say there’s a GREAT chance of that!). You may be a jacked up leader yourself. There’s tremendous security in knowing that Jesus personally pastors and watches over His flock. 

Those of us placed in spiritual authority need to remember a couple of important items. First of all, we don’t climb the tower like Bear Bryant. We don’t watch from a distance and bark instructions through a megaphone. We don’t do that because Jesus didn’t do that. Our Savior got down on the field with us. He got down in the trenches with us. He got down in the huddle with us. He is Emmanuel, “God is with us” (Mt 1:23). And Jesus promises to ALWAYS be with us (Mt 28:20). Since our ultimate Overseer didn’t watch from a distance, neither do we. Second, Elders need to remember that they are accountable to Jesus for how they care for His people. He’s watching over our leaders as well. He has great vision. Perfect vision, as a matter of fact. He’s the ultimate Overseer.

The Ultimate One Woman Man

“the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination” (v6).

He’s the perfect husband. He’s the example ever other husband is to follow. He’s the ideal. The model. The quintessential. At first this might sound like some sort of Lifetime movie. But this man is the real deal. Jesus is the Ultimate One Woman Man. When Paul gives Titus instructions to look for spiritual leaders with unquestioned integrity, he tells him to check out their lives at home. What’s his marriage like? Is he a faithful husband? Is he a faithful dad? Is he a faithful worshiper of God? In other words, does he look like Jesus? 

He’s the Ultimate One Woman Man.

It’s our man Paul who wrote to his Ephesian friends about this very same idea. When he was teaching believers to “be imitators of God” (Eph 5:1), he had specific instructions for hubbies. Be like Jesus. Imitate the perfect Husband. “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior” (Eph 5:23). That doesn’t so much mean that the husband is the so-called king of his castle. The idea of being the head indicates responsibility and accountability. Just as the Father has placed the church into the protective and loving care of His Son, husbands are called to love their wives in the same way. What does that look like? “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Eph 5:25-27). In other words, be her hero in the same way that Jesus came to rescue of His bride. And the man doesn’t just save her once, but continues to care for his bride like Jesus does. “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church” (Eph 5:29). The apostle makes sure that we don’t miss the fact that human marriage is simply a picture of the perfect marriage. “‘The two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Eph 5:31-32). 

Jesus is the Ultimate One Woman Man.

Maybe Christ is the Perfect Husband because He’s married to the perfect wife. Not so much. Not yet anyway. Throughout the OT, God continually finds His future Bride sleeping around (Jer 3:1-3, 6-10; 9:2-3; 13:22-27). If that’s not bad enough, she’s a hooker! Don’t confuse Jesus’ fiancée with Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” (Ezek 16:15-17, 22, 25-26, 28-30). God goes so far as to tell the prophet Hosea to marry a prostitute so he’ll know the pain and betrayal of blatant infidelity (Hos 1:2; 2:8-10, 13; 3:1-3; 4:10-12). Jesus is faithful to His bride when she’s sleeping around.

God would certainly have every reason to kick this hot mess to the curb. But He doesn’t. As a matter of fact, He does just the opposite. He goes after her to win her back (Hos 2:14-20, 23). In the ultimate rescue mission, Jesus leaves the unbelievable comforts of heaven to save His bride. It’s impossible to wrap our minds around what He left to come for the one He loves. It’s a dumpster dive of mammoth proportions. What the Son of Man sees is more infidelity. He calls God’s people “an evil and adulterous generation” (Mt 16:4). 

So Jesus is married to anything but the perfect wife. Let’s just say she’s a work in progress. He’s a forever faithful and loving husband. The passage in Ephesians 5 tells us just how Christ loves His bride in very practical ways. In the end, we get invitations to the biggest wedding and reception the universe has ever seen. “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb” (Rev 19:7-9). Talk about a party! Jesus’ best friend John talks about what that ceremony is going to be like. “And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her Husband” (Rev 21:2). One of the angels tells John to make sure he takes a good look at Jesus’ gorgeous wife. “Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb” (Rev 21:9). The result of this spectacular wedding day has nothing to do with the bride. It has EVERYTHING to do with the Groom.

Jesus is the Ultimate One Woman Man.

Just as Jesus’ marriage is the ultimate example of what the marital relationship should look like, our spiritual leaders should also be very practical models of the same. That’s Paul’s point to Titus. The church desperately needs to know what a healthy marriage looks like. Our elders, pastors, and spiritual leaders should be those models. If you’re in local church leadership, here’s what it DOESN’T mean. You’re NOT married to the church. She is NOT your bride. She’s Jesus’ wife. So don’t sacrifice your marriage and family on the altar the church. Jesus NEVER calls you to do that. He’s already done that for her. 

Jesus is the Ultimate One Woman Man.

The One Woman Man

“the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination” (v6)

Once again, we come to another verse that gets churches and believers in a lather. Folks have used Paul’s instructions to Titus (as well as similar guidance to Timothy) to slam the door on divorced people serving as spiritual leaders in the church. According to many churches and denominations, the big D slaps a big L on your forehead. Can’t be an elder. Can’t be a pastor. Can’t be a leader. There’s just one little problem. That’s NOT what the apostle says. He’s talking about integrity. He’s talking about faithfulness. Faithfulness to spouse. Faithfulness to family. Ultimately, faithfulness to Jesus.

Paul begins his qualifications list with the most critical quality of all. Titus is to keep his eye out for men who are “above reproach” (v6). The rest of these qualities flow out of the idea of being guiltless, beyond suspicion, and with no hint of scandal. A huge part of being a man of integrity is what’s going on at home. In your marriage. In your family. Is he a loving and faithful husband? Is he a loving and faithful father?  You might wonder what in the world this has to do with being an elder or a pastor. Over in his first letter to his boy Tim, the apostle sums it up this way. “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” (1Tim 3:4-5). If you can’t lead your family, how can you lead your church?

Let’s get back to the original question on the table. If an elder is to be the “husband of one wife” (v6), does this mean he can’t be divorced? That certainly seems to be how the translators of the RSV see it. They render this as “married only once” (v6 RSV). The KJV, NKJV, NASB, and NIV all read “the husband of one wife” (v6). Let’s look a little closer at the original Greek text and see if we can’t find an answer. The phrase in question is mias gunaikos aner. One (mias). Woman (gunaikos). Man (aner). It literally says “one woman man” (v6). Chances are there’s a note at the bottom of the page of your Bible that tells you exactly that. It sure seems like if Paul wanted to make sure divorced folks couldn’t serve as elders and pastors, he would have made that clear. He didn’t. Jesus is looking for men of integrity and faithfulness to lead His church. Faithful husbands, faithful fathers, and faithful followers of Jesus.

Can we be clear about a couple of things? Divorce is awful. It devastates families. There’s no question that God absolute hates it (Mal 2:16). It rips apart two people who have become one flesh (Gen 2:24; Mt 19:5). Jesus went out of His way to warn folks to not tear apart something like a husband and wife which God has joined together (Mt 19:6). Divorce rips apart families. The emotional and psychological damage it does breaks our heavenly Dad’s heart. God doesn’t like it but He allows it in certain cases (Mt 19:8). The Lord still hates it. Can He and will He forgive someone who divorces their spouse? Simply, yes. There’s only one unpardonable sin. That’s rejecting Jesus’ offer of salvation (Mt 12:31). His grace and mercy are more than capable of covering a divorce. Paul spends a good bit his first letter to his Corinthian friends talking about marriage, divorce, and remarriage (1Cor 7). Yup, you read that right. REmarriage.

God calls all married men (not just elders and pastors) to be faithful husbands. If you’re married, this means no girlfriends. No “work wives.” No emotional affairs. No online chats with women to whom you’re not married. If you’re married, you’re a “one woman man” (v6). Solomon had important advice for his son. “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away” (Prov 6:32-33). He should know, his mother and dad hooked up as the result of an affair.

There’s another elephant in the room that we need to talk about. Yeah, I’m talking about porn. As husbands, we’re to find our sexual satisfaction in our marriage. Prowling around the web for hot chicks is not simply window shopping. Jesus went so far as to say that looking at women other than your wife is the same thing as sleeping with her (Mt 5:27-28). That includes online porn sites, skin flicks, and so-called “gentlemen’s clubs.” Take Job’s advice and make a covenant with your eyes to avoid looking at stuff that gets you hot and bothered (Job 31:1). The married man of God is to enjoy a healthy sex life with his wife. “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe, Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love” (Prov 5:16-19). For further “instruction,” check out the Song of Solomon. It’s some of the hottest stuff you’ll read anywhere.

God is looking for a faithful men to lead. Faithful husbands to serve their wives. Faithful fathers to serve their kids. Faithful followers to serve their Savior. Faithful elders and pastors to serve His church. He’s looking for a “one woman man” (v6).