“but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined” (v8)
Where would Blanche DuBois be without the generosity of people she didn’t know? The flawed Southern Belle from Tennessee Williams’ “A Streetcar Named Desire” famously said, “I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers.” In his letter to Titus, the Apostle Paul makes hospitality an essential character trait of an elder in Jesus’ church. He’s NOT talking about the ability to entertain guests at a lavish dinner party. He’s NOT talking about being the local Martha Stewart. While having an open home is great, a spiritual leader must have an open heart.
It’s always important to keep the big picture in view when reading the Bible. Paul is writing instructions to Titus, his go-to guy on Crete. The grace of Jesus has recently and radically transformed lives all across this island. These believers need leaders (Titus 1:5). They need someone to shut up those folks teaching rotten doctrine (Titus 1:10-11). They need a sustainable structure to teach everyone what it means to be a follower of Jesus (Titus 2:1-10). Now that God has deployed His apostle to his next assignment, Paul trusts the Big T to git-r-done.
The first thing on Titus’ to-do list is to find elders or spiritual leaders for local churches. He’s looking for a few good men. Men of integrity. Men who are “above reproach” (Titus 1:6-7). Paul goes on to give several specific qualities that help explain what he’s talking about. One of those is being “hospitable” (v8). This is in contrast being self-absorbed, a hot head, addicted, ready to fight, and greedy. Instead of putting themselves on the throne of their lives, these leaders are to look out for others. Paul uses the Greek word philoxenos to describe what he’s looking for. This compound word literally breaks down to mean “friend (philo-) of strangers (-xenos).” It paints a picture of somebody who is generous to guests, someone open to strangers, and a person who shows kindness to people they don’t know. A spiritual leader needs have an open heart.
The apostle drops the same word when writing to his buddy Tim, giving similar instructions about looking for leaders. “An overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable (Gr. philoxenos), able to teach” (1Tim 3:2). Paul’s pal Pete made it clear that being open and welcoming isn’t limited to leaders. “Show hospitality (Gr. philoxenos) to one another without grumbling” (1Pet 4:9). A very similar word is used over in Romans, when Paul instructs them to proactively look for chances to roll out the red carpet. “Seek to show hospitality (Gr. philoxenia)” (Rom 12:13). Finally, the writer of Hebrews pulls back the curtain and lets us know of one very cool benefit of opening our homes and hearts. “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers (Gr. philoxenia), for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (Heb 13:2). It’s a chance for us to welcome God’s special agents. Tell me THAT’S not awesome!
Jesus is looking for leaders who are generous with their lives. An elder is dude who has an open door, especially to people he’s never met. While we’re certainly to share our lives with folks in our circle of friends, this is about getting outside our comfort zone. This is accepting people who aren’t you like you and me. Such an idea was crazy talk back in the first century. Jews couldn’t stand Gentiles and Gentiles returned the favor. Religious and racial prejudice ran thick in the Greco-Roman world. That all changed when Messiah Jesus invited non-Jews to God’s kingdom party. A huge theme in the book of Acts is over Jesus saving Gentiles (Acts 10-11; 15:1-29). God is calling all believers to open their lives to folks not like them. And when it comes to hospitality, leaders must lead. They must give us examples to follow.
Such an idea was cutting edge stuff for the first century. And it still is today. Religious and racial prejudice continue to be a bone in the throat around the world and down the street. In an amazing move, God is bringing together people groups from around the globe to America. Most metro areas are a funky stew of cultures and languages. However there’s still tons of fear if not hatred for these newcomers. Jesus doesn’t call for us to send them back home but instead to open ours to them. We need to be welcoming. We need to be friendly. We need to be gracious. We need to be accommodating. We need to initiate. And that starts with our leaders.
Jesus is the perfect example of hospitality. Then again, He’s the perfect example of everything good and godly. He doesn’t just love strangers, He loves His enemies. And at one point, we were His enemies. Yup, you and me. But then something incredible happened. Instead of going to war against us, He went to the cross for us. “But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us…For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by His life” (Rom 5:8-10). Without the open heart of Jesus, we would still be His sinful enemies.
We have to come to the realization that we live in a broken world. Despite societal and technological advancements, there are lonely people all around us. They need to know that people care. They need real relationships. They need to know that Jesus loves them. That happens when we open our homes. That happens when we open our lives. The Blanche DuBois of the world would certainly appreciate it.
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