Forgiveness takes guts. Just reading that short sentence seems a little goofy, isn’t it? We don’t think of forgiveness as something tough guys do. Through movies and TV, our culture has told us that when we get mad, we should get even. Think Jack Bauer in “24.” Not exactly the model of mercy. But Paul tells us something completely different. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (v32). A closer look at the original language lets us know that forgiveness isn’t for wimps.
Forgiveness takes guts.
The folks in the Ephesian church know that to be a fact firsthand. Paul busted his tail for three years in the big port city telling folks about Jesus (Acts 20:31). And those three years were no Caribbean cruise. Dr. Luke devotes an entire chapter to those crazy days in his sequel (Acts 19). When certain Jewish leaders failed to accept Jesus as Messiah, the apostle moved down the street to Tyrannus Hall where he began teaching not just Jews but Gentiles for the next two years. The Gospel spread like wildfire, not just in Ephesus, but throughout the entire region. God used Paul to turn the city upside down. There were wild exorcisms, bonfires of black magic books and eventually a huge riot. Local businessmen turned on the followers of Jesus. Citizens had stopped buying locally made idols when they started turning to Jesus. It was bad for business. A mob beat the daylights out of a couple members of Paul’s posse, Gaius and Aristarchus. Local believers smuggled the apostle out of town to avoid being a target. And Paul knows all about the forgiveness found in Jesus. As he sits in a Roman slammer, he never throws his accusers under the bus. He forgives.
So the Ephesians know that forgiveness isn’t for wimps. When you have to live side-by-side with folks who want to beat the snot out of you and your fellow believers, you need forgiveness. Big time forgiveness. Gutsy forgiveness. That’s the context of this verse. Paul’s describing what life looks like once God has them “alive together with Christ” (Eph 2:5). Once Jesus gets ahold of us, we toss off the “old self” and pull on the “new self” (Eph 4:22-24). The old self would get mad and get even. The new self in Jesus does something that’s a lot tougher. The new self forgives just as Jesus forgives.
From his Roman prison cell, the former Pharisee commands his readers to “be kind to one another” (v32). He uses the Greek word chrestos, which means excellent, superior, good, gracious, pleasant, benevolent and kind. Hmm. Just how kind am I supposed to be? Like God. Jesus told a big crowd that His Dad “is kind (Gr. chrestos) to the grateful and the evil” (Lk 6:35). Just in case you’re keeping score, that includes you and me!! And why has He been so good to us? “God’s kindness (Gr. chrestos) is meant to lead you to repentance” (Rom 2:4). Notice that He didn’t use threats of punishment and the eternal fires of hell to scare us into following Him. He was kind. He is kind. And that’s the kind of kindness we’re to pass along to those around us. God’s kindness.
Paul then tells us to be “tenderhearted” (v32). Here’s where it gets interesting. This is the Greek term eusplagchnos. It’s translated as compassionate and kind. But it’s actually a medical term describing healthy bowels. Good (eu-) intestines (-splagchnos). It literally means having strong bowels. You see, in the ancient world folks believed their guts were the source of their most intense passions like anger and love. You feel it in your belly. You feel it in your gut. Kinda makes sense once you think about it. The Apostle Pete dropped the same word in one of his letters. “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart (Gr. eusplagchnos), and a humble mind” (1Pet 3:8). Being tenderhearted takes guts. And it takes a lot of guts to forgive. When someone hurts you deeply, it feels like you’ve been punched in the gut. The natural, “pre-Jesus” reaction is to punch back. The new you does something completely different. A follower of Jesus forgives.
Forgiveness takes guts.
We’re to be “forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (v32). Let’s take a closer look at the word “forgive.” It’s the Greek verb charizomai, which just happens to be cousin to “grace” (Gr. charis). So the idea of forgiveness means to give, grant a favor, be generous and do something pleasant for someone. Literally it means to do grace. God is a giving God. He gives. And He gives. And He gives. It’s “by grace that you have been saved” (Eph 2:5). We bring nothing to the party. “This is not your own doing; it is the gift of God” (Eph 2:8). He saves us because He gives. And one of those very important things He gives is forgiveness. Paul talks a ton about what that looks like in his letter to the folks over in Colossae. “God made us alive together with Him, having forgiven (Gr. charizomai) us all our trespasses” (Col 2:13). A little later the apostle says that when we live life with others, we need to continually stay in a state of forgiveness. “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving (Gr. charizomai) each other; as the Lord has forgiven (Gr. charizomai) you, so you also must forgive” (Col 3:13). God is the ultimate example of gutsy forgiveness.
Forgiveness is one of Jesus’ mega-themes in the Gospels. “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him” (Lk 17:3-4). And there’s a symbiotic relationship between my forgiveness of others and God’s forgiveness of my sin. “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Mt 6:14). If you’re in the middle of a fight with someone, stop praying immediately and forgive them “so that your Father who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses” (Mk 11:26). And remember that my level of forgiveness is going to determine God’s amount of forgiveness headed my way. “Forgive, and you will be forgiven...For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you” (Lk 6:37-38).
That’s the whole point of Jesus’ Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Mt 18:21-35). Christ told Pete that forgiving seven times isn’t enough. Make that “seventy times seven” (Mt 18:22). That’s first century talk for forgive and keep on forgiving. Don’t stop. Forgiveness is an ongoing process. Chances are, you’re going to have to get over an offense more than once. And chances are, that person is going to need your forgiveness again in the future. Forgive. And keep on forgiving. In the story, Jesus tells about a dude who was forgiven a multi-million dollar debt but refuses to forgive a buddy who owed him a couple of hundred bucks. When his boss hears about it, he drops the hammer on his hard-hearted employee. “‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’” (Mt 18:33). That’s gutless unforgiveness!
No one will ever accuse Almighty God of being soft. Yet He forgives. That’s because those who forgive are tough. And there’s no one tougher than God. He calls us to do the same. Forgive. Just as He forgives us.
Forgiveness takes guts.
So what do you think? Agree? Disagree? Would love to hear from you. Post a comment below.
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