The Philippian Family Feud

“I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the Gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life” (Philippians 4:2-3).

Long before Steve Harvey asked what the survey said, there have been family feuds. And folks fight some of the most bitter battles in the places you’d least expect them. That would be in the church. There are siblings who simply don’t get along among God’s kids. We’re supposed to be spiritual brothers and sisters but, let’s face it, we can put the funk in dysfunction as well as any family. 

While he’s not dealing with a serious doctrinal disaster like what’s going on in Corinth, Colossae, Galatia, and Ephesus, Paul works to extinguish a fire before it burns down the entire Philippian congregation. Sparks are flying between a couple of leaders in the local church. “I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the Gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life” (v2-3). Call it the Philippian Family Feud.

Two leaders. Two women. Two of Paul’s closest teammates. Two true believers. It all adds up to one big disagreement. But the apostle encourages these ladies to stop focusing on their differences and get their eyes on what they have in common in Christ. When we agree on Jesus, we stop playing the feud.

Let’s face it. Too many of our churches aren’t so much a peaceful house of prayer for all people but a gruesome octagon for religious MMA. We fight over pastors. We slug it out over music. We brawl about sermons. Ever hear about the infamous throw-down over the color of the carpet? Our enemy loves to distract us from our bigger mission of telling the world about Jesus. Satan dupes us into fighting among ourselves to get us off our game. The devil himself is the host of this demonic version of family feud.

There’s an old story about sailors from a ship rescuing a man living alone on a deserted island. They ask him why there are three huts if he’s the only one there. “Well, the first one is my house,” he says. “The second is where I go to church. The third one is where I used to go to church!” We laugh because it’s funny. We laugh because it’s true. 

After writing to the entire Philippian church, Paul singles out two ladies. “I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord” (v2). So who are these two people with incredibly weird names? While this is the only time we read about them in the entire Bible, the apostle most likely met them both during his original trip to this Macedonian seaport. They could be friends of Lydia. Paul and his posse met the fashionista from Thyatira and her friends at a riverside prayer meeting in the city (Acts 16:13-14). Could one of them be the young lady the apostle rescued from both human trafficking and demonic possession (Acts 16:16-18)? It’s possible one of them is the wife or daughter of the warden of the local Roman prison unit (Acts 16:27-34).

These two are important leaders in the local church. The apostle makes a point of remembering how he served on a team with “these women, who have labored side by side with me in the Gospel together with Clement” (v3). Clearly God used this Philippian Fantastic Four in a big way to tell the city about Jesus. He has fond memories of how they  “labored side by side” (v3). This is the Greek verb sunathleo, which means to fight together. Paul, Euodia, Synthyche, and Clement stood shoulder to shoulder for the cause of Christ to push back the darkness in His name. For whatever reason, they’re now fighting WITH each other. 

This has now escalated into a full scale Philippian Family Feud. What are they fighting about? Well, the apostle doesn’t give us any of the specifics but there is plenty of speculation. Many Bible scholars suspect Euodia and Synthyche are high level leaders in the local church. Despite sexist attempts to twist Scripture and turn congregations into some sort of men’s club, God has always seen fit to place women in key places of influence in His kingdom. 

In the OT, Deborah was a judge over Israel (Jdg 4:4). God used ladies like Ruth and Esther in a large way. Where would Jesus’ own ministry be without the critical support of Mary and Martha, Mary Magdalene, and his very own mom. (Apparently our Savior has a soft spot for the name “Mary.”) Throughout the rest of the NT, women are key leaders in spreading the Gospel. Priscilla is a rock star (Acts 18:2, 28, 26; Rom 16:3; 1Cor 16:19; 2Tim 4:19). Phoebe is not only a point person in the church over in Cenchreae but bankrolled Paul’s missions (Rom 16:1). While a complementarian view sees women and men as having different roles in local congregations, it doesn’t limit their influence.  

Meanwhile back in Philippi, these two strong leaders are clearly in strong disagreement. According to Kennedy, “it may have been accidental friction between two energetic Christian women.” Some people suggest the possibility of a church split with each holding hosting meetings in their respective homes. Paul had his own family feud with Barnabas and John Mark (Acts 15:36-41). Let’s face it, clashes between people of passion aren’t anything new. Jesus calls His followers to handle them differently. We’re to drench our disagreements in His forgiveness, His grace, and His mercy. 

Paul pleads with Euodia and Synthyche “to agree in the Lord” (v2). You can literally translate this as being “of the same mind in the Lord.” Hmm. That sounds familiar, doesn’t it? The apostle says something incredibly similar back in chapter two when he quotes that first century praise song about Jesus. “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind” (Phil 2:1-2).

So what does it mean “to agree in the Lord” (v2)? At the very core is to agree about who Jesus is, what He’s done, and what He’s going to do. We should all agree that He’s the sinless Son of God. He’s the Second Person of the Trinity. Fully God. Fully Man. He lived the life of perfection to God’s law that we’ve failed to live. He died the death for our sin and disobedience that we should have died. He rose to a glorious new life that we don’t deserve. He’s coming back one day for the greatest encore in the history of the universe to fix everything that we broke. And we ALL need Him! Can we agree on that? Being of the same mind about Jesus goes a LONG way in soothing family feuds.

The writer of Hebrews encourages us focus on Him while we run the race of life, “looking to Jesus, the Founder and Perfecter of our faith” (Heb 12:1-2). Here’s the beauty of heading in the direction of our Savior. No matter how far apart we are, we’ll always be getting closer together when we’re sprinting His way. Too many times we obsess over what drives us apart. We concentrate over what’s wrong with our archenemy. Do you actually have an archenemy? Can we talk for a moment? Nobody except superheroes have archenemies. Get your eyes off what separates you and get them on Christ. Stop fixating the feud. Start worshiping the One who died to bring us all together. 

Paul certainly understands there are going to be times when we can’t get this done without outside help. Sometimes we need another set of ears and eyes to sit down with us. Call them a referee. Call them a counselor. Here in Philippians, Paul calls them his “true companion” (v3). The Greek word here is suzugos, which means colleague, teammate, or partner. It’s a variation of the term used to describe livestock yoked together to pull something heavy. Picture the Clydesdales. The apostle calls on one of his dear friends he’s worked side-by-side with to step into feud. Some folks think it could be Lyda. It could actually Epaphroditus, the pastor of the Philippian church who’s hand delivering this letter back home (Phil 2:25-28). While we’re not exactly sure who it was, you can bet Euodia and Syntyche did. 

Who’s the person you would call on if and when you have a squabble with another brother or sister in Christ? If you’re like me, the first one you think of is someone you would hope would take your side. Pump your brakes a bit and ask yourself who has the spiritual maturity to help us reach the decision that most honors Jesus. It may be a pastor. It may be a counselor. It may be a small group leader. It may simply be someone who’s not afraid to speak the truth in love to you. Would someone come to you as that third person? Do you have a tender heart for fellow Christ followers and the willingness to speak into their lives? Maybe you could be that “true companion” (v3) who brings folks back together. Don’t forget Jesus’ words from his most popular sermon. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God” (Mt 5:9).

While it may seem silly to see fights among fellow believers, it probably shouldn’t be unexpected either. Once God’s Spirit lights a fire in your belly, you become passionate about His kingdom. But when sparks fly, we need to remember we’re all playing for the same team. We’re all members of Team Jesus. Remember “to agree in the Lord” (v2). Find a “true companion” (v3) to mediate. There’s no time to waste playing the Philippian Family Feud.