Fight on and Keep on Fighting on

“I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in His testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1Tim 6:13-14).

This one is going the distance. Like Rocky and Apollo (both times). Like Rocky and Clubber Lang. Like Rocky and Drago. Like Rocky and (Insert name of opponent from any sequel here. You get the idea.) This slugfest that won’t end early. No matter the foe and no matter the flick, the Italian Stallion will fight on and keep on fighting on. Yo, Adrian!

A couple of thousand years before Stallone gave us the original Balboa, a young slugger named Timothy was in the fight of his life. But check out who he had in his corner. Paul. We’re talking about THAT Paul. Yeah, the APOSTLE Paul. The same Paul who wrote a hefty chunk of the New Testament. You think that’s something? Father God and Jesus Christ are right there too giving Tim the supernatural strength and encouragement to go the distance. 

We pick up the action late in the fight. The camera zooms in on Tim’s corner. Let’s listen in to what Paul tells him. “I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in His testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ” (v12-14). Don’t give up. Don’t EVER give up. Fight on and keep on fighting on.

Because Jesus fought hard for us when He was cornered, we can to! Yo, Timothy!

It’s been a brutal battle so far. A team of false teachers dominated the middle rounds at the church in Ephesus. They used all sorts of funny business to fool the followers of Jesus. Wacky religious theories and complicated family histories (1Tim 1:4-7). Outright lies and downright demonic doctrine (1Tim 4:-2). And you thought Mike Tyson chomping down on Evander Holyfield’s ear was a dirty move! By the way, folks are still throwing these low blows in church’s today.

But truth made a comeback. Then again, God’s truth always does. Jesus’ church gets up off the canvas and fights back to take control. In the corner, Paul grabs Tim’s tired shoulders. “I charge you” (v13). He uses a Greek verb (Gr. paraggello) which means to give strict orders or make specific instructions. It’s the same word Matthew uses when Jesus orders His posse to do advance work for one of His preaching tours. “These twelve Jesus sent out, instructing (Gr. paraggello) them” (Mt 10:5). He gave them detailed instructions just as the apostle coaches up his protege.

I’m no different than Timothy. God has to get up in my grill to get my attention too. Sometimes I forget I’m in a fight. Other times I get tired. Or distracted. He has this amazing ability to reset my focus. He’ll do it through a friend. Maybe through prayer. But consistently use His Word through people like Paul. The Lord regularly grabs me by the shoulders and gives me a hard shake when I’m reading Scripture. It’s time to fight on and keep on fighting on!

Paul then reminds Tim of Who’s in his corner. God the Father. God the Son. You can bet God the Spirit is there too but He’s not the One to draw attention to Himself. The Trinity is total agreement on the strategy. The apostle encourages his spiritual son that our Heavenly Dad is the One “who gives life to all things” (v13). God is not just the Life Producer but the Life Preserver. Take a look around you right now. What do you see? What’s alive? Well, if it’s breathing, creeping, barking, hopping, flying, blooming, or growing, God is the One who makes it happen.

The Son of God is there and brings a ton of experience to Team Timothy. Paul tells his young fighter how it was “Christ Jesus who in His testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession” (v13). This is certainly a big bout but it’s nothing compared the fight Jesus won against sin and death for us. Forget the Fight of the Century. It’s the Fight of Eternity! And Christ won the belt!! Place your trust in what He did that we could never do. 

The apostle jogs Tim’s memory about one specific aspect of Jesus’ fight on our behalf. In one of the toughest rounds, Christ stood toe-to-toe with a local Roman governor and “made the good confession” (v13). Let’s swing over to the Gospels to see what made His confession so good. When Pilate interrogates the Rabbi/Carpenter directly and asks if He really is the king of the Jews, Jesus replies “You said it” (Mt 27:11; Mk 15:2; Lk 23:3; Jn 18:37). When backed into a corner, Jesus delivers a devastating short right of truth. He is indeed the One the Father promised would come to rule and reign (2Sam 7:12-16).

Paul compares Jesus’ “good confession” of Jesus to with to the time Tim did the same thing and “made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses” (1Tim 6:12). When did this happen? Who were those witnesses? It might have been when the young buck from Lystra first placed his trust in Jesus. It might have been answered God’s call to ministry, which by the way included getting circumcised…as an adult (Acts 16:3)! I’m pretty sure I would have made a confession that day and it wouldn’t have been good!! Or it may have happened once when Tim had his back to the wall as a member of Paul’s team in places like Thessalonica (Acts 17:5-9), Berea (Acts 17:13-15), or Ephesus (Acts 19:23-41). Since the apostle connects these two incidents, you have to believe he’s refreshing Tim’s memory of when God gave his partner the strength to stand strong. Fight on and keep on fighting on!

There are going to be times as a follower of Jesus when you and I are stuck in a corner. Times when we have to stand our ground. Times when we’ll need to make our own “good confession” (v13). When there’s no seeming escape, remember that we don’t have to answer every question. We’re not going to argue anyone into heaven. We simply point to the One who won the fight for us. Or as the writer of Hebrews tells us, run the race with everything we’ve got while keeping eyes locked on Jesus who endured the cross on our behalf (Heb 12:1-2).

In the critical moments of the fight, Tim is “to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ” (v14). Folks have wondered about just what command Paul is talking about here. The best answer is probably his instructions to “fight the good fight of the faith” back in verse 12. That would be the big idea of this entire letter. In other words, there are a some specific things to do in the Ephesian church but the big idea is to fight on and keep on fighting on. 

If you want a more specific commandment to follow, think back to what Jesus tells His dozen disciples the night before His own death. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” (Jn 13:34). As a matter of fact, it’s through keeping this command that people around the world can be sure we’re followers of Jesus. You just can’t go wrong when you love the folks God puts in your life. 

Just before the bell rings to start the next round, Paul delivers the last part of his instructions to Tim. Keep this command “until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ” (v14). We win the fight when we continue the fight. Jesus has already won it for us. And He’s returning one more time. In the words of LL Cool J, don’t call it a comeback. Christ isn’t like one of those sad aging heavyweights who continue to come out of retirement for one more shot at former glory. No, when Jesus returns, He returns in top form (Rev 19:11-16). Fire in His eyes. Crown on His head. Tattoo on His thigh. Sword in His mouth. 

This fight is going the distance. But instead of being saved by the bell, we’ll be saved once and for all by God Himself. We don’t know when, but we can be certain He will return. Until then, remember you’re not alone. The Holy Trinity is in your corner. Jesus already won the fight for you. Until then, tell folks about Him. Tell them you trust in Him and not yourself. Remember that He’s returning one final time. Until then, fight on and keep on fighting on.

Because Jesus fought hard for us when He was cornered, we can too! Yo, Timothy!

Get in the Game

“What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9).

There comes a moment when we either need to put up or shut up. We’ve taken lessons, watched a video, read an article, and observed someone else doing it in person. Now it’s our turn. It’s at this moment we go from being a spectator to a player. It’s time to climb out of the bleachers and run onto the field. Once Jesus makes us part of His team, He wants us to stop watching and start playing. 

Paul tells his Philippian friends that the time has come to get in the game. He’s coached them up. They know what to do. They know how to do it. They’ve seen him do it. The only thing left to do now is to do it themselves. “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things and the God of peace will be with you” (v9). The time for talk is over. The time for action has come. And don’t miss what happens when we start applying what we’ve learned. God will be right there in the trenches with you giving you His peace. 

The apostle remembers those crazy days God used him to plant the Philippian church on his first visit to the city. Dr. Luke was part of the team and records a lot of it in the sequel to his biography of Jesus (Acts 16:12-40). He stopped by a couple of more times, once as after spending a few feast days while traveling (Acts 20:6) and the other when the church gave money for a drought relief fundraiser (2Cor 8:1-5). Each time he was with them, Paul taught them all about Jesus and what it means to be one of His followers. Here in this letter, he makes the point that it’s game time. It’s time to stop talking and start doing. It’s time to apply what they’ve learned and let God use them to be a firehose of His grace.

From his Roman prison cell, the apostle tells them it’s “go” time. “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things” (v9). He describes four different ways that he’s passed along the message and application of the Gospel. They’ve learned. They’ve received. They’ve heard. They’ve seen. There’s a HUGE lesson here if you’re a teacher, instructor, or coach. People learn in different ways. Some respond to lectures. Others need demonstrations. There are folks who are visual learners. When teaching, let’s not be a one-trick pony. Try different methods. Use different techniques. Research shows people retain and apply the information more quickly when we break things up, move them around, and change the environment. It sure appears that the man from Tarsus is an expert in this idea.

Learning. Receiving. Hearing. Seeing. Each of these four methods of teaching have one critical thing in common. Without going into boring detail on the original language, every last one of them leads to a result. In other words, the folks in Philippi didn’t just fill their heads with meaningless details and Bible trivia in order to do well on the final exam. This isn’t about getting a grade. No, they sat under Paul’s instruction with the intent of doing something with it. They weren’t simply professional students who were afraid of putting into practice everything they had learned. 

A team goes through drills and scrimmages with the idea of playing their opponent. Let’s never miss a big point of why we listen to messages, attend a small group, or even have our own quiet time. (Can I be blunt? I absolutely hate the phrase “quiet time.” It sounds like I’m having a prim and proper tea party with Jesus. There are mornings I need be anything but quiet. We now return you to our regular program already in progress.) But sermons, small groups, and personal Scripture study are actually means to an end. 

They’re important ways of taking our relationship with Jesus to a new level. Our man Paul knows all about the passion to know Christ more deeply (Phil 3:7-11). They’re means of giving us God’s way of thinking and seeing the world (Rom 12:2). The Lord uses them to do spiritual surgery (Heb 4:12). You see, God is taking this goofy hot mess of my life and remaking it into the image of His one and only Son (Rom 8:29). A key part of that is putting what I learn into practice. Mike Lee says if we’re going to church and reading the Bible and our lives our changing, we’re doing it wrong. If I’m not changing, I’m wasting my time. If I’m not applying what I learn Paul says I’m just filling my head with hot air (1Cor 8:1). I learn so I can apply. I study so I can do something with it. I practice so I can play the game.

A big part of Paul’s coaching has been setting an example for the Philippians. They’re to do what they’ve “seen in me” (v9). Aren’t there times that imitating someone else’s technique is the best way to learn a new skill? Playing the imitation game is a key part of the apostle’s teaching tool box. He’s already told his readers, “Brothers, join in imitating me” (Phil 3:17). When the church over in Corinth runs off the rails, the apostle tells them the best way to get back on track is to “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1Cor 11:1). Paul tells his boy Tim, “Set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1Tim 4:12). The apostle Jesus nicknamed Rocky writes that spiritual leaders shouldn’t be heavy handed but instead “being examples to the flock” (1Pet 5:3). Paul isn’t so much a washed up athlete as he is a player-coach. He knows his fundamentals. He knows his technique. He knows the scouting report. If you don’t do anything else, do what he does when you get on the field.

So who are you watching? Who are the fellow Christ followers you’ve got your eyes on? Who are godly examples of how to live out what you’re learning? Maybe it’s a friend at work. Or your pastor. A buddy in your small group. That lady down the street. Maybe it’s an author you read. You know, it doesn’t have to be just one. A couple of VERY important points about following the example of others. First of all, do NOT turn them into an idol. Don’t make them your savior. Don’t make them your hero. Jesus already has that job. Second, know they’re probably going to put their life in the ditch at some point. Remember, Paul’s instructions to the Corinthians to follow him while he follows Christ. Once someone stops doing what Jesus does, you need to keep following Jesus. There’s a pretty good chance they’re going to drop the ball at some point. There are many imitators but only one Jesus.

Let’s turn that around. Who’s watching you as an example? This might seem like stupid question but it doesn’t change the fact that folks are watching. They want to know how you apply God’s Word to your life. They watch how you work. They watch how you parent. They watch you love. They watch how you drive (and wonder just how does that fish sticker hang on to that fender at such high speeds!). You may not like it, but people all around you are watching how you live as a follower of Jesus. And get this, some of them aren’t even Christian (GASP!). While the thought of folks watching you might be a little creepy, remember that this ultimately isn’t about you. They’re watching what Jesus is doing in and through you. Give Him the credit. Point people back to the resurrected Rabbi/Carpenter from Nazareth every chance you get.

Who doesn’t have butterflies before the big game? You’re lying if you say you don’t. Just in case you haven’t been paying attention, lying is bad. So bad that it made God’s Top Ten list. It’s okay to be nervous. But don’t freak out and never take the field because “the God of peace will be with you” (v9). Nothing like the peace of God straight from the God of peace when things get a little scary (Rom 15:33; 16:20; 2Cor 13:11). If you’re anxious and feel far from God, the best thing to do is to do what He says. The writer of Hebrews goes so far as to pray, “Now may the God of peace….equip you with everything good that you may do His will” (Heb 13:20-21). He promises to be present and accounted for. He promises to be right there with you. He promises to give you His peace in your obedience. Remember, His peace “surpasses all understanding” (Phil 4:7). It’s reassuring to know God and His peace will be right there at your side during crunch time.

Don’t think of this so much as a letter from Paul to the Philippians as it is a pre-game locker room speech from the coach to his team before the season opener. You know the scouting report. You know your techniques. You know all the plays. It’s time to lace up your cleats. It’s time to buckle your chin strap. It’s time get on the field. It’s “go” time. It’s game. Don’t worry, the God of peace is lining up right beside you.

Let's Get This Party Started

You may not think of Jesus’ followers as being party animals. If so, you may be hanging around with the wrong Christians. God has loaded the pages of Scripture with parties, shindigs, cookouts, and throw-downs. Don’t get me wrong. There is a VERY serious side to our walk with the Lord. We are supposed to carry our cross. God invented work but He also invented the day off! Don’t be a party pooper. Here in Nehemiah 8:13-18, the Jewish people who’ve returned to the Promised Land from captivity realize that they’ve been missing out. Ezra’s review of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy opens the Hebrews’ eyes to the fact that they haven’t been partying like He has commanded. After the top teachers meet with Ezra for a quick Bible study, they decide to get this party started!

It’s second day of Tishri, the day after Ezra’s legendary six-hour sermon and survey of the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Bible. The very next day, “the heads of the fathers’ houses of all the people, with the priests and the Levites, came together to Ezra the scribe in order to study the words of the Law” (v13). This is a smaller group of those responsible for teaching others. What a great reminder that even teachers need to be lifelong learners. As followers of Jesus, we must have a hunger to grow. These seasoned Bible teachers went knocking on the preacher’s door to dive deeper into what he had taught the massive crowd the day before. God has blessed them with the “go to” guy when it comes to Scripture (Ez 7:6, 10). Even the pagan King Artaxerxes recognized his mad skills and backed the Big E’s return to the Promised Land as the lead teaching pastor (Ez 7:25-26). These dudes weren’t missing out on the chance to learn from one of the top Bible teachers on the planet.

As they dig into God’s Word, they suddenly realize it’s just about time to party. “And they found it written in the Law that the LORD had commanded by Moses that the people of Israel should dwell in booths during the feast of the seventh month” (v14). One look at the calendar tells them that this celebration is right around the corner. It’s the seventh month of Tishri, which falls roughly on the last half of September and the first half of October. There’s no doubt they heard about this particular feast during Ezra’s preaching marathon the day before (Neh 8:1-5). They want to know more about what is called the Feast of Booths (Lev 23:33-44; Num 29:12-38; Dt 16:13-17). It’s one of three annual nationwide parties God puts on the Hebrew social calendar. The other two are the Feast of Unleavened Bread and the Feast of Weeks. When God tells you to party, that’s one command you don’t want to break!

Just what is this Feast of Booths? Well, it’s actually a week of camping in temporary shelters made from tree limbs and palm fronds. God schedules this annual reminder for the Jewish people as a practical demonstration of how their forefathers lived after He brought them out of Egypt. The reason for seven-day cookout is to recognize God’s amazing goodness and blessing. “Because the LORD your God will bless you in all your produce and in all the work of your hands, so that you will be altogether joyful” (Dt 16:15). Okay, I admit it. Camping isn’t for everybody. But who’s not up for a weeklong celebration of God’s overwhelming grace and goodness?

As a result of their study with Ezra, these teachers put out the word around the land of Judah that the Feast of Booths is about to go down (v15). Folks start making all the preps for the party, gathering branches, limbs, and fronds to throw together their huts for the campout (v16). They build them everywhere. On the roof. In the courtyard. In front of the temple. In the city squares. Every single person who has returned from captivity to the Promised Land is setting up camp (v17). Picture the biggest Boy Scout jamboree you’ve ever seen. Think a massive music festival like Bonnaroo. Yeah, we’re talking a HUGE party!

This festival is epic. It’s historic. No, seriously. It’s one for the record books. “For from the days of Jeshua the son of Nun to that day the people of Israel had not done so. And there was great rejoicing” (v17). It doesn’t mean they haven’t celebrated the Feast of Booths since Joshua led the Israelites 800 years ago. The Bible is clear that it has happened at least a handful of times (1Ki 8:2; 2Chr 7:8-10; Ez 3:4). But it’s been since those days that they did it with such overwhelming joy. The reason for their over-the-top jubilation is obvious. The original Booth Feast was a celebration of how God had brought His people out of 400 years of slavery in Egypt. These folks have just returned after 70-plus years under the boot of Babylon and Persia. You don’t have to be rocket surgeon to make the connection. Yeah, this year’s feast is one we’ll remember for a long, long time.

There’s one other thing that makes the the Feast of Booths of 445 BC unlike any other. “And day by day, from the first day to the last day, he read from the book of the Law of God” (v18). Ezra the scribe teaches the Bible everyday. That’s above and beyond what the LORD has required for this annual hootenanny. I think it’s safe to say that these folks are so excited in hearing about God’s incredible goodness that they simply couldn’t stop! They wanted more and more. 

God is still all about throwing parties. Jesus made the point of describing the heavenly wingding each time a lost person places their trust in Him (Lk 15:7). And He’s inviting all of His followers to the Wedding Supper of the Lamb (Rev 19:6-9). This is blast is going to be the ultimate after-party. Tony Campolo is right on target in his book “The Kingdom of God Is a Party.” There are certainly times of quiet reflection, seriousness, and mourning in our relationship with Jesus. But our walk with Jesus should be filled with incredible joy. Christ is inviting us to His party. Let’s get this party started!

Live What You Teach, Teach What You Live

“and in your teaching show integrity, dignity” (Titus 2:7)

Mr. Parker was the greatest. There’s no teacher that impacted my life like he did. And I’m not the only one. As the vocal music instructor at my high school, he poured into the lives hundreds of students, many of whom never sang in a choir, chorus, or quartet. That’s because Mr. Parker lived his life with integrity. He was great in the classroom but he was even better in life. He lived and we learned. That’s Paul’s point to Titus. Understand that your influence extends well beyond what you teach. People learn by how you live. 

In this second chapter of his letter, the Apostle Paul tells his man Titus all about establishing a system of instruction that will last long after he’s left the island of Crete. The Gospel of Jesus has clearly transformed the people here. Now they need a sustainable structure of telling others what it means to follow Christ. Paul begins by telling him what to teach. “Teach what accords to sound doctrine” (Titus 2:1). He then tells him whom to teach (Titus 2:2-6,9-10). He then tells him how to teach (v7-8). Titus must teach with integrity. He must teach with dignity. Both in the classroom and out. Two things will occur. Believers will learn how to live. Opponents will have no room to criticize you or the Gospel. What a powerful lesson for everyone who teaches, especially those who teach about Jesus. Yikes, that means me!

First of all, we’re to teach with “integrity” (v7). This is the Greek word aphthoria, which means not subject to corruption, purity, and honesty. It’s the idea of having good character, being moral and virtuous. But the basic meaning of the term is wholeness and being undivided. We should be the same all the time. We should be the same everywhere we go. We should be the same with everyone we’re with. You’ll hear engineers talk about the structural integrity of a building, bridge, or machine. When it has integrity, it’s sturdy and stable. It’s not rickety and held together by duct tape and paper clips. It’s able to withstand harsh conditions. That’s the kind of integrity teachers of God’s Word need to have. And that only comes when we build our house on the Rock (Mt 7:24-27). It’s not about the structure, but the foundation. The foundation of our trust must be in the person and work of Jesus. He’s the ultimate in integrity.

Teachers must also possess “dignity” (Gr. semnotes). Paul’s talking to Titus about proper conduct, respectability, seriousness, and acting the right way. In other words, our teaching in the classroom hangs on our conduct outside of it. We can be up for “teacher of the year” for our fabulous lessons and methods but send it all down the crapper when our life doesn’t back it up. Our dignity backs up our message. It gives us credibility. It’s gives us moral and ethical capital for what we teach. Let’s be clear about one thing. This does NOT mean that you live a perfect life. There’s only one Teacher who pulled that off. Trust in His perfection. And when you do jack things up (and you WILL jack things up!), confess and repent. Be transparent. Teachers need Jesus just as much as their students. 

Live what you teach. Teach what you live. That’s exactly what Mr. Parker did. 

Love Lessons

“and so train the young women to love their husbands and children” (v4)

I’m very glad my parents didn’t just toss me the keys to the Oldsmobile the day I turned 16. They made sure I had driving lessons. Both my mom and dad would take me out in the neighborhood and teach me how to drive. They signed me up for driver’s ed at school. I had seen lots of people behind the wheel and really didn’t think I needed any of that. But, boy, am I glad they gave me driving lessons. Paul knows it’s the same with young wives and moms. They need someone to teach them specifically what it means to be a godly wife and mother. They need love lessons.

As part of his instructions to set up a self-sustaining system of discipleship, Paul tells Titus to have the senior female saints get involved in the lives of the younger ladies. Have the older believers teach the younger folks what it really looks like to follow Jesus. In this case, the older women will intentionally instruct younger ladies to love their husbands and children in a godly way. 

The apostle writes to Titus that these more mature ladies are to “train the young women” (v4). “Train” is the Greek verb sophronizo, which means to restore to one’s senses or bring someone to be sensible and self-controlled. The term in very similar to the instruction that older men should be “dignified” (Gr. sophron) in verse two.

It paints a picture of exhorting earnestly, advising, admonishing, and discipling. In other words, these younger wives and moms have an idea of what it means to love their hubbies and kids, but they need specific teaching about what that means for a follower of Christ. 

This woman-to-woman instruction certainly includes an element of living by example. If the younger ladies want to know what it looks like to be a godly mom and wife, they can watch these women who’ve been there and done that. But it’s more than that. There’s clearly a let-me-tell-you-how-it’s-done instruction. They not only learn the what but the why behind it. Someone with a life’s worth of experience show someone younger where the potholes are. There’s no need to make the same mistakes that they made. In essence, this is simply the application of the Paul/Timothy relationship when it comes to moms and wives. Let’s face it, we ALL need older mentors in our lives no matter how old we are. And we ALL need younger folks in our lives that we can instruct.

The most important points of this instruction is that they learn “to love their husbands and children” (v4). A closer look at the original language shows that these are actually just two words. They are to “love their husbands” (Gr. philandros). It literally describe a “love” (phila-) for the “husband” (-andros). This is a loving and caring disposition of a wife toward her husband, affectionate. A wife is to have affection for her husband. Who better to let a new bride to know what that looks like than a lady who’s been there. The other Greek word here is philoteknos, another compound word that means a godly mother’s love toward her children. 

These younger wives and moms know they should love their hubbies and kids. But they need someone to come alongside them and show them what it means for followers of Jesus. They need love lessons. But then again, don’t we ALL need love lessons?

Bad Dads

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph 5:4).

Hey Dad, stop ticking off your kids!  How many times have you seen it?  How many times have you DONE it?  Dad rolls in from work or a long road trip and tries to reestablish his tight-fisted control of the home.  The king has returned to the castle.  He walks through the door and starts barking orders at his kids.  Chaos and rebellion ensue.  Paul tells dads that this is NOT how it’s supposed to go down in the home of a Christ follower.  “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (v4).  Stop aggravating the kids and start lovingly educating them.  Don’t yell at your children.  Teach them.  Don’t be a bad dad.

The command begins by telling dads what not to do.  Don’t “provoke” your kids.  This is the Greek verb parorgizo, which means to make angry, exasperate or irritate.  The form of the word emphasizes the long lasting nature of the frustration.  This isn’t just a one time tick off.  This is an ongoing anger.  It’s deep and long lasting.  It can’t be smoothed over easily.  This verb emphasizes how a bad dad has terrorized his children over the long haul.  Are you loving dad or a dominating dictator?  Do your kids run to you or from you when you get home?  WAY too often, dad is a despot who rules with an iron fist.  The apostle says that’s no way to use the authority and responsibility that God graciously has given you.  Over in Colossians, the companion letter to Ephesians, Paul drops an incredibly similar word to dads.  “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Col 3:21).  Stop infuriating your kids.  Stop irritating your kids.  Stop exasperating your kids.  I love the Amplified’s take here.  “Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment]” (v4a AMP).  Don’t be a bad dad.

So what DO you do instead?  Paul doesn’t leave you hanging.  He tells dads to “bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord” (v4).  In the original text we see the term ektrepho.  It means to nourish, nurture, bring up or raise.  The only other time this word is used in the entire Bible is just up the page.  Paul talks about how Jesus lovingly “nourishes (Gr. ektrepho) and cherishes” His church (Eph 5:29).  Instead of ruling with a heavy hand, God calls BOTH parents to nourish and nurture their kids.  This does NOT mean to avoid corporal punishment.  But it should be the exception rather than the rule.  Or in the words of The Message, “Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master” (v4b The Message).

The only way to teach them “the way of the Master” is to through “the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (v4).  If you’re not sure, he’s talking about the Bible.  The apostle is urging both parents to be fully involved in the systematic instruction of kids in God’s Word.  Yeah, I know.  Family devotions are a struggle.  They were for me and my family.    And look for opportunities to apply Scripture in regular family life.  Quote it.  Post it on the fridge.  Soak your family in it.  It won’t be good for just your kids.  It will be good for mom and dad too.

Paul says that the key nutrients for nourishing your kids are “discipline” (Gr. paedeia) and “instruction” (Gr. nouthesia).  The first of the two is the nurture and instruction involved in broad training of a child for general education.  The writer of Hebrews uses paedeia six times in seven verse of Hebrews 12.  In this passage, we see how our heavenly Dad lovingly instructs and “disciplines the one He loves” (Heb 12:6).  God is not like the disconnected or distant dad that ignores his children.  He’s fully involved in their care and instruction.  The main textbook for the education of our kids should be Scripture.  God’s Word is “profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training (Gr. paedeia) in righteousness” (2Tim 3:16).  The second term is nouthesia, which brings the idea of correction or warning.  They need to know limits and boundaries for their own good.  All of the stumbles and sins of the Israelites “were written down for our instruction (Gr. nouthesia)” so we would avoid the same potholes (1Cor 10:11).  Paul tells his boy Titus that after two warnings (Gr. nouthesia) troublemakers in the church should get the boot on their third strike (Titus 3:10).  Our kids not only need to know what to do but what NOT to do.  That means telling them why they shouldn’t do something.  Discipline and instruction.

While Paul is writing to dads, this warning is clearly for both parents.  This goes just as much for moms too.  And this is all about finding a godly balance as parents.  Some parents are too harsh and too stern.  Some are too hands off.  I’m more often guilty of the second.  God is calling moms and dads to be not just tender and nurturing but fully involved in the spiritual growth of their children.  We can’t convert our kids but we can prepare their hearts for what God’s Spirit can do.  Matt Chandler describes this as stacking kindling in their lives.  We continually tell them about God’s goodness.  We continually tell them about Jesus and His love for them.  When God’s fire falls on them, they’ll ignite in a big way!

Confession time.  I'm FAR from the perfect dad.  I'm still learning.  Would love to hear what you believe Paul is telling us about fatherhood.  Drop a comment below and let's chat.