Love Lessons

“and so train the young women to love their husbands and children” (v4)

I’m very glad my parents didn’t just toss me the keys to the Oldsmobile the day I turned 16. They made sure I had driving lessons. Both my mom and dad would take me out in the neighborhood and teach me how to drive. They signed me up for driver’s ed at school. I had seen lots of people behind the wheel and really didn’t think I needed any of that. But, boy, am I glad they gave me driving lessons. Paul knows it’s the same with young wives and moms. They need someone to teach them specifically what it means to be a godly wife and mother. They need love lessons.

As part of his instructions to set up a self-sustaining system of discipleship, Paul tells Titus to have the senior female saints get involved in the lives of the younger ladies. Have the older believers teach the younger folks what it really looks like to follow Jesus. In this case, the older women will intentionally instruct younger ladies to love their husbands and children in a godly way. 

The apostle writes to Titus that these more mature ladies are to “train the young women” (v4). “Train” is the Greek verb sophronizo, which means to restore to one’s senses or bring someone to be sensible and self-controlled. The term in very similar to the instruction that older men should be “dignified” (Gr. sophron) in verse two.

It paints a picture of exhorting earnestly, advising, admonishing, and discipling. In other words, these younger wives and moms have an idea of what it means to love their hubbies and kids, but they need specific teaching about what that means for a follower of Christ. 

This woman-to-woman instruction certainly includes an element of living by example. If the younger ladies want to know what it looks like to be a godly mom and wife, they can watch these women who’ve been there and done that. But it’s more than that. There’s clearly a let-me-tell-you-how-it’s-done instruction. They not only learn the what but the why behind it. Someone with a life’s worth of experience show someone younger where the potholes are. There’s no need to make the same mistakes that they made. In essence, this is simply the application of the Paul/Timothy relationship when it comes to moms and wives. Let’s face it, we ALL need older mentors in our lives no matter how old we are. And we ALL need younger folks in our lives that we can instruct.

The most important points of this instruction is that they learn “to love their husbands and children” (v4). A closer look at the original language shows that these are actually just two words. They are to “love their husbands” (Gr. philandros). It literally describe a “love” (phila-) for the “husband” (-andros). This is a loving and caring disposition of a wife toward her husband, affectionate. A wife is to have affection for her husband. Who better to let a new bride to know what that looks like than a lady who’s been there. The other Greek word here is philoteknos, another compound word that means a godly mother’s love toward her children. 

These younger wives and moms know they should love their hubbies and kids. But they need someone to come alongside them and show them what it means for followers of Jesus. They need love lessons. But then again, don’t we ALL need love lessons?