Protect This House!

“to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be reviled” (v5)

I grew up watching reruns of “Leave It to Beaver.” June Cleaver was the model mom and wife of the 50s. Wally and the Beave couldn’t get anything past her. And if that’s not enough, she cooked a huge dinner in her prom dress that was ready for Ward the moment he walked through the door. It might be easy to think Paul is talking about Mrs. Cleaver here in his letter to Titus. But don’t limit your view of a godly wife to Barbara Billingsley’s performance on a black and white sitcom. The apostle is not molding stereotypes and Stepford Wives. He tells Titus what it looks like when older women teach and train young ladies in the ways of womanhood. I hate to disappoint you, but there’s absolutely nothing in the original Greek text about cooking in a prom dress. It’s actually much more like a middle linebacker during a goal line stand. As the boys at Under Armour might say, she must protect this house!

Let’s refresh our perspective about the scene here. The message of Jesus has radically transformed the island of Crete. The apostle gives Titus a to-do list of three goals. First, select spiritual leaders for all of the churches (Titus 1:5). Second, stuff a sock in a team of false teachers (Titus 1:10-11). Third, establish a establish a self-sustainable system of discipleship that tells folks what it looks like to follow Jesus in their specific place in society (Titus 2:1-10). After giving a brief description of older men training younger dudes, he lets the Big T know that the ladies should follow a similar model. In a general sense, they’re to both model and teach what it means “to love their husbands and children” (Titus 2:4). 

The first specific point of loving her family is for the wife and mom to be “self-controlled” (v5). This is the Greek word sophron, which has appeared in various forms in this little letter. An elder is supposed to be “self-controlled (Gr. sophron)” (Titus 1:8). Older men should be the same (Titus 2:2). In the previous verse, older women are to “train (Gr. sophronizo)” young brides in godly womanhood. You can understand this verb as to teach them self-control. It’s the idea of having the ability to curb desires and impulses. Can we all agree that this trait isn’t limited to the ladies? We all need to get a grip on our urges. We don’t need to scratch every itch. The cool thing is that we don’t do this on our own. Self-control is a big part of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23).

Next on the list of traits is to be “pure (Gr. hagnos) (v5).” It’s from the same same root word where we get the word “saint” (Gr. hagios). This is the idea of being innocent, without defect, holy, free from sin, blameless, upright, or chaste. But most of all, this is the idea of being completely different from everything around you. A godly wife and mother isn’t like every other desperate housewife on the cul-de-sac. The way she lives and loves runs completely counter to culture. Instead of fitting in, she stands out. It’s all about spreading God’s salt and shining His light with everyone she comes in contact with.

Now we’re heading into the minefield. Everybody watch their step. Paul tells Titus that a key part of this instruction to young moms is that they should be “working at home” (Gr. oikourgos). I can hear the howls now! What kind of pig-headed chauvinist is Paul! The original language must mean one who is barefoot and pregnant! Can we all just take a deep breath? Whew. That’s better. The apostle uses a compound word meaning “house (oiko-) guard (-ouros).” Think of the Under Armour slogan “we must protect this house!” It describes one preoccupied with the affairs at home, a person devoted to the home and family. This is the protector of the home.

Let’s be clear about what this verse is NOT saying. This is not a command that the wife and mom should never under any circumstances leave the home except to drive the minivan to the carpool lane. Again, there’s NOTHING wrong with that if God has called you to that. But the Bible is loaded with ladies who are anything but shrinking violets. Proverbs 31 describes a high octane woman who not only deals in real estate but is the poster child for godly moms and wives (Prov 31:1-31). Lydia, the Philippian fashion designer, is Jesus’ first convert in Europe (Acts 16:14-15). I think you get the idea. But the point is that they place a priority on the home. It’s at the top of the priority list. God has wired the women that the welfare of the family comes first. She must protect this house!

Paul writes that a huge part of a wife’s love for her hubby comes through submitting to him. Oh no, not the “s” word! I told you this was a minefield! The term literally means “to place or arrange under.” This is actually a military term that describes how troops line up up under the authority of their commanding officer. A handful of very important points on this controversial idea. First of all, there is no shame in submission. For Pete’s sake, Jesus did it. Despite being fully God, Jesus was voluntarily submitted to His Father to come to our rescue (Lk 22:42). I have a feeling you’re not opposed to Christ’s willing obedience. Yeah, that’s what I thought. Second, every last one of us should submit to each other as an act of worship (Eph 5:21). In other words, this isn’t just a husband/wife joint. Finally, this does NOT say that a woman is to submit to every dude they meet on the street. A wife is to submit to her OWN husband! She’s to reflect the picture of the church’s relationship to Jesus (Eph 5:22-24). One reason this is SO hard to do is because of the ultimate epic fail in the garden. After our first parents fell for the lie of the satanic snake, God told Eve that she would have a sinful desire to rule over her husband, but instead “he shall rule over you” (Gen 3:16).

There’s a very interesting reason why a godly woman should love her husband and kids. So “that the Word of God may not be reviled” (v5). Once again, this idea is not just limited to the ladies. Our disobedience to the Lord damages smears mud on His glory. When you and I claim to follow Jesus but blatantly ignore His commands, we make His Word a joke. The bottom line is that we live what we believe. When I tell the world that I follow Christ but fail to do what He says, my behavior drowns out my words. As an old friend would say, “A talk talks and a walk talks, but a walk talks louder than a talk talks.” Or as Eugene Peterson puts in The Message, “We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior” (v5 The Message). In other words, wife’s love for her husband is a very practical demonstration of the Gospel to the world.

Don’t fall for the lie that Titus teaches women should be some sort of second class citizens. This verse doesn’t paint a black and white picture of June Cleaver. A closer look lets us know that the wife and mom is much more like a middle linebacker. She’s defending her family like Luke Kuechly defends the Panthers’ end zone. She must protect this house!